does love make people grow weaker?
my answer is yes. YES. Love makes people weaker. It made me weaker. i don't know how people could control themselves from obsessing with their loved ones. i realised that i do get obsessed. i can't sleep. i can't work. i can't have fun with a full heart. but hehe, i can eat. i eat a lot. i eat a LOT.
but a part of me thinks that maybe i'm just lazy and is taking this whole love thing as an excuse. i would always go, maybe i'll talk to him first, then i'll have mood to do work later. then seconds pass followed by minutes followed by hours.. the next thing u know, it's 3 am and u still have work due the next day. but i still was not panicking about the deadline.. instead, i'm still taking my own sweet time writing my diary about him.. reading his blog.. looking at his photos.. or just go to sleep.. why can't i be disciplined and control myselF? i'm planning to skip class today.. he knows about it and he doesn't want to talk to me tonigh so that i can concentrate on doing my work. can i?
sometimes when i think about what i do, i really hate myself. i look down on myself. i would cry. i would get depressed. i would just sit somewhere and do nothing. YEELYN, u have to change!! how??? ...
i had a big cry yesterday.. i freaked out when i suddenly thought of how i'd be if he should disappear from my life one day.. (touch wood) i know what we're having now isn't much physically at the moment, but in heart what we have is undescribable.. he is always ALWAYS there for me.. always. i never want to part with him. i don't want anyone else.. just him..
this is depressing.. :'( i'm so clingy.
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2 comments:
babe. What's up with u? Don't cry. be strong. Know that love and HE will always be there for u. U dun have to worry about the future. Now just live as you are suppose to accoridng to what u are suupose to do. Do you want to give your stduies up? Do u want to think about the past in the future that U were lazy and if u don't do so well (touch wood), you have no one to blame but urself. I am not being a mean person. but i am just saying the reality of life. Yes We can dream once in a while. Fly away on a magic carpet and hope that we would never come down. I admit at times I do want to be in dreamworld. But this is reality. I have to face the challenges in life. I know that I cannot always dream. =)
me-shel : i hate reality! but u're right.. i have to embrace it whether i like it or not.. but it's so hard.. but i'll try..
and melvin thanks.. that meant so much to me.. i'll try.. just couldn't help it u know..
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