Ello.

I haven't been updating much. I think, mainly because of my camera. You see, that charger just stopped working one day. and i haven't been able to take pictures since. now depending on my video cam and loris's cam. hehe. Also i've been a lazy girl, and to update ppl about my everyday life when i'm at the "lazy" stage, just makes me feel useless and depressed (cause i haven't been doing much.).

at Seven.

hehe, so, i've decided to wait till that lazyness is no longer around. i don't dare to say it is now, but believe it or not, if i continue being like this, i'll fail, and i can't let that happen. Actually, that's quite believable. So..........

Still at Seven.

The midsemester holiday ended. Although i wouldn't say it was much of a holiday for me. I've left so much work till the end that now it's all time to catch up. But, the past week have been busy and at least a tad bit more interesting than the rest of the middle of the semester. :) I've had more life.

bbq turned indoor meal.

I've been labeled by someone who studies psychology to appear more like a collectivist but may actually be an individualist. i've forgotten the exact words she used, but A collectivist is more or less someone whose characteristics, behaviour and opinions are influenced by the way other ppl think. Like in a society. So the opinions of others actually make up how they are today. Most asians are collectivists. I wonder, are they more easily manipulated and submissive? Then an individualist is more often someone who strongly have his own thoughts and opinions and would very much stick to it and defend it. The downside to this, is that they appear more selfish.

fannie n i.

fannie's 20th.

i think i used to be a collectivist. But now, i'm half half. It's important to me to know that in the sense that i should know to stand up for myself. Now, when i think it's right, i do it. When it's not, i don't. Starting to, bit by bit la. hopefully, soon, i can do so without having to hold back a tear. hehe, just a day ago, i've been talking with a friend who seem to share the same problems as me. Experience the same things. we are so similar! She made me realise that life is more than what other people think. It's what you think. And the way she stood up for herself. I'm so proud of her. You know la who you are. hehe. We must let ppl know we are nice but not too nice to be stepped on, No-seri!
Anyways, one issue i've been thinking abt the past month was how to "juo ren". direct translation in mandarin is "make People" = become a person = become a person who can handle situations well. Like what to say and do at the right time. I'm still tackling with that.

People who are mighty close to me say that i don't THINK when i talk.









The consequences of that is certainly not good, especially for my future. We must consider how anything we say to someone impact them. For me to think so much, it's gonna take even longer for me to say sth to someone else at times where stressful situations and problems need to be resolved. These are crucial to giving people good impressions and letting them know you know how to handle situations. Also, not to hurt people's feelings.







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Lantern Festival.

hmmm, been clubbing, Wii-ing, shopping, argueing....................... also the Lantern Festival hehe.. i miss moon cake. Lately, just been to Dracula's to have a carberet dinner. It was the bomb! The performers were really good at dancing, singing, making jokes, it's all very entertaining. Totally worth it to go watch even though it's a little expensive. But all in all, it's a 3 course meal. Ok la the food. so yeah........

i love this cany castle. Looks so..like the ones i see in movies at the funfairs. hehe

The next day, went to the Royal Melbourne Show with Loris and Jiawen and Gemaine. Also with her sister and friends. Good thing they had coupons, so we get to sit all the rides twice for the price of one! hehehehe. We sat 3 rides all together. It all spins, and swings and ... just crazy! but it was fun to do all that once in a while. hehe. release your stress and tension!

Dracula's, the Carberet Dinner.

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The alley.

That weekend, there was Benjy's birthday party. Spend the day trying to do as much work as possible before going. :) it was alright. I was great! i really looked up to Benjy and his ability to make so many friends in just a year. I gotta be more outgoing. hehe, there were like 25 of us all trying to fit in his living room. it was alright, he removed the chairs and tables, shifted them to the back alley. we hung out there for a while. it was fun all together.

Ian, Me, and Tob.

WengKin, Ian, Goh and Jureen were there too. We ate , and then went back to the living room and tried socialising with everyone. after a few games, we asked to excuse ourselves to go for a shishaaaa session. it was fun and engaging. just wish i was bettter. had a stucky flu and a cough. but all's good. But during that party, i was just looking at all the couples and that never made me fail to think about Melvin. How happy they are together. Whilst melvin and i are so far apart......................................

I love our Eyes..

anyways, all was good and we went back around 2.30am. We should have more. ;) Then we can complain more abt our architecture course and its workload ey, jureen??? hehe.

Goh and i.



Hmmmm... what else... the holidays was well spent, i guess.

Football/Handball Star.

Oh Choon Leong can make really good Bak Kut Teh leh, ppl!! hehehe, (don't worry, i won't give away your Secret recipe! ;)) you satisfied my BakKutTeh urge till i go back. i think. and thanks for dinner k??? Went to his house the other day. And i was rushin my work and he asked me to come down for dinner. how can isay no right??? Bak Kut Teh lehhhh..hehehehe

Jureen, Me and Lorisssss.

wth... why am i talking to ppl here like they're gonna read my blog?!??! (there's a wanting in my heart that they might.........hahaha. )

Benjy's Cake from Brunetti..

anyways..

How is it that when one thinks that she could handle a relationship without depending on it so much in the beginning can feel so shattered when there's the thought that the relationship could end....

when melvin was here... and jin.

I hate having to feel like i depend on my loved one. Especially there comes time when u SUSPECT something is going on. And at such a faraway distance, i hope u understand why i have such paranoia. Now i know how you felt the last time. i'm trying to bring this feeling of dependence down a notch. Think i can do it?? perhaps find more things to do and not concentrate so much on the issue of love... although i hate to admit it, (cause my dad siad it so many times before) sometimes, love can be so distracting in our studies...

hmmmm, btw, let's bet how long it'll take for melvin to check on my blog after i post this up. heheehehe..

when melvin left..

On a random note,

Thanks ppl, for being there for me when i need you! I love you all! ciao......

Unconditinal Love

you know, you would think that there would be unconditional love between friends or loved ones. (xcept family, that's one true love!) i used to think such things do exist! but it seems now, what everyone does for another, they always hope for something in return. When they don't get any returns or special treatment from you, they STOP giving help, or whatever. I guess it is just another reality of life, it is only human to secretly want something back from someone else. i hate it!

ok i just checked the dictionary for the meaning of unconditional love and i think that doesn't mean what i'm trying to say. -_-" only a part of it. er, when you love someone, a friend, you will continuously check up on them right, ask to meet up, help them when they need help? you would assume that they would do that right? your friend would probably assume the same thing, right? if both keeeps assuming that, who's really gonna do it? what, if ur friend stops looking you up, you do the same? what if your friend keeps asking you for help and you don't want to help them cause u think u're on the losing end? ok that's Not Unconditional love. but really, it is only human to do what they think is right. if all you gave them before was a cheap cup of tea, i guess in the end, that's what you get. all the things we learn as a kid, in storybooks or those morale lessons, to help people when they need it, (that's exactly what we do), but don't expect something in return (when does that ever happen?)... unless of course, when you help someone on instinct, a stranger who dropped his books and pencilbox and keys and water bottle all at the same time. but on some friend, there's always somewhere in your heart where you think, ok now he OWES me. muahahaha.. i guess the morale lessons are possible to practice, in certain ways..

hmmm i guess it's called "keikhlasan". shit, what is that called in english? (i just read back what i wrote and man, i jump from here to there! will work on that.)

anyways, do you agree with me when i say , if u think too much, u won't get to it, cause then all you'd do is doubt. seriously, to think or not to think! sometimes spending too much time on ur own gets u to think of ridiculously almost anything. when u're doing your assignment, when you're doing your housechores, when you're walking back to the tramstop. YEELYN! stop thinking!! the past 2 weeks have been busy for me. all assignments that sometimes i have no time to go back home. at one point i didn't go back for 2 nights in a row. had to overnight in a friend's place where it's closer to uni, just to wash up and have short naps. i'm really feeling the torture in Archi-torture. (I like whoever invented this phrase ;)) but i won't say i've been angelic the whole time, i did stop by some shops and bought some things to cheer me up a bit. hehe, and also thanks to iris for the occasional chocolate muffins. yum!!! they really do fulfil your NEEDS.. chocolate... yummm...


until next time! feels good going on abt random stuff. :)