back back back!!! XD

back back back!!! XD

hey, people, i'm back in malaysia now. lemme tell u bout the trip back. i was travelling back alone. and u would hope to get to sit beside some cute guy. but no.. i sat beside a very friendly australian middle-aged auntie. we talked bout her children and my studies.. the same o talk.. hmm then there's the awkward feeling people get when you have nothing to say and we went back to the sleeping with discomfort and the watching of movies.. oooh, FAILURE to LAUNCH and FIREWALL is something i would recommend anyone to watch. hehe.. cause there's sarah jessica parker and matthew mcconaughey in the first and HARRISON FORD in the second movie. all my favourites!! hehe.. well, i like a lot of actors, really.. hmmm.. well, got back and met my mom at the airport! then bought milk in seveneleven.. to try the new "sipah" i bought for chensern(younger bro).. its a flavoured straw that allows u to add flavour to milk. there's strawberry, bananas, caramel and chocolate. it's something special really.

hmmm, oh then there was the urgency of trying to keep melvin from finding out i flew back to malaysia, u see, i wanted to surprise him. so i pakat with mich to lie bout lotsa stuff with him. but man, did it go well? hmm, i'll tell u all bout it in a minute. so me and mich planned that the day i'm flying, we are "supposed" to be shopping, walking round, bringing loris's mom around and go to the aquarium right.. man , it's a long story. there's this bull and that bull .. lotsa bull and ..big fishes.. so blue.. and big.. and beach ... not clean.. ok ler.. cold and windy.. .. loris no supposed to be at home.. he called.. loris answered.. lotsa giveaways.. and i was bullshitting .. like , she came back with her mom.. there's movies.. webcams.. man.. later ....

hehe, then well, slept quite late around 5am and guess what!?!su yen and mei wen came to my room at 9am to surprise me!! man.. so early.. and me so tired.. went to mamak.. dosai! yummmm.. (saliva-ing) hmm, then went to school awhile with suyen. got our spm certificates talked with some teachers. well, suyen did most of the talking. hehe, saw en HARRI!! hehe.. hmm, yeah that's bout it.. then watched Xmen3. AGAIN! hehe.. loved it. oh man, loved the cast.. the phoenix. damn! wah.. hehe.. but the story.. why did so many people had to die! aih. at least charles isn't. XD

hmm, that's bout it for that. then the next day, FRIDAY> hee.. woke up early to surprise my bie in Monash UNI. his last exam of the semester and all. so jon helped out right.. i was waiting at the foyer.. and he came and brought me to the place they were at right.. and melvin knew somehting was going on right.. he went to the gate right, and he saw me right, .. and man.. he went, " i knew it! i knew it!" he didn't seem surprised. i was soooo pissed! man.. we hugged and stuff.. and i was pissed! man.. i feel like a drunk person is writing this blog.. MESHELL!!! haha..

then went foos where i SUCKED BIG TIME!!! wuwu.. but melvin was great. JUNE was GREAT. GREATER than her BF. XD jon jon.. tsk tsk.. hmm, then hanged round.. hmmm... yeah..

well, after that, went to buy a DVDCAMCORDER!! cool huh.. hehe..

at the moment, taht's it. will key in more. CIAO!

since my birthday.

the makers of the cake, loris basically most baking, mich decorating and helping out, er ge, helping out and complaining, goh, cracked an egg, and myself, birthday cake-eater! hehe..





hey i need to talk.. what happened to my satiNE!!! :( neways, birthday was great. wish all my other friends and family were here though. loris baked me so many cakes with the help of michelle and my brother. well, under my request.. hehe.. here are some of them. they look great don't they.

so i watched X MEN III, FINALLY!!!! loved it loved it loved IT! then cameback watch underworld, bit of football and went to sleep. woke up next AFTERNOON, dressed up and went to do some busines then went shopping with loris. goh and erge still snoring away. bought stuff! i feel guilty at times! ehe.. but nice le.. but after a while i feel like, u feel very happy buying new clothes with the intention of making urself look more beautiful, but when walking the streets, and other girls look even more pretty even when they just dress oh-so-normally. it's so depressing!! i have insecurities. why eelin, whY!?!? u are so beautifUL! u are attractive in ur own way! why are u feeling such feelings!?! how to block tath away?? i mean u hear news of a certain someone like another certain someone and u wonder why can't it be yoU? wat does the certain someone have that i don't? i dun want to hog attention from others or watever, but it's nice to know that u can attract a certain someone once in a while.. u know?? but, melvin, if u're reading, you 're always on my mind! hehe.. LOVE YOU!

neways, got a tshirt and earings from mich, cakes from loris, another cake and candle from arlene and another pair of earrings from martha(love them!). (both of them threw me a surprise by appearing at my door with another handmade cake!!) hehe, i'm contented. wonder wat melvin's getting me. heheee.. could it be a 2 coupons for the world's greatest massage from melvin? hehe.. i'm flattering him. never actually got a massage from that guy. XD

neways my birthday started rough. lotta bad things been happening since. and equivalent amount of good things as well la.. just remember what yannee said, BE MATURED and FILTER THEM OUT!! ok will update next time! lotsa thoughts to say. but hard without bitching bout someone so i'd rather not. ;) byE!

Trust

Trust. What is trust?
According to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, trust means a strong belief in the honesty, goodness etc of someone or something. According to the BBC English Dictionary, If you trust someone, you believe that they are honest to you and will not deliberately do anything to harm you. Yes. From reading this, you can obviously tell what the whole post is all about today. Trust.

believe, honesty, goodness of someone.

I've learnt the painful truth that no one can be trusted a hundred percent. The only person to trust fully is myself. I am sure that everyone of you people have experienced the feeling of doubt and an instinct that tells u when someone is lying to you. However, sometimes you are blinded so much by the trust and closeness between you and whoever that is that you couldn't see the real face that he or she really wears. You don't even realize that that same person could be lying to you. Because you TRUST him or her.[or i'm just blur] I am not writing this blog to talk bad about a particular person because i find that totally immature, [unless there is really no way the two of you could solve the problem, then it is quite therapeutic i think.] I just want to share my encounter with trust issues so that my readers could come to learn that my blog is NOT DEAD!!! and that they can learn something from it. [ i hope.. :) ]

it also really hurts when u learn that someone you're close to and trust does not necessarily trust you back, instead he or she hides things from you,(pain!!) and lie straight to your face. and what's worse, you don't realise it until the truth finds its way back to YOU! OUCH. to think that there is GOODNESS in that person for not trusting YOU! so what is it that we should do? never trust anyone ever again and suspects everyone whom u think is lying to you? isn't life about sharing stories, what u believe in and just say what u think is right? you don't have to go lying about YOU. you don't have to be ashamed of YOUrself. Just tell us the goddamn truth! or don't tell us anything at all. it's so simple.

i just read somewhere that a person who is not being trustworthy or trusting may have a very competitive behaviour with others. i start to think, hmm, tht is quite true, after thinking bout the people in my life who i don't really trust and considering what an older friend told me. they are always thinking, "if i tell her this, she would think that she's better than me. No, i can't show her i'm worse." well this is what i think. it's not necessarily based on someone. i guess there are reasons why people are not very trusting towards other people. it is for their own benefit. but hey, as long as i know i'm not doing anything wrong. Not to trust depresses me. i need to trust. i can't don't trust. It is too stressful for me. this line means something to me.. (well actually it makes me feel better maybe cause of my naiveness)

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to sometimes be cheated than not to trust.
-Apples of Gold


.. this world is hard.. :( but guess i have to give it a try. how to get people to trust u if u don't trust others first, ey? comments!

i can't be cute, can i?

today i realized that people can't be wat they wanna be. i noticed i've been acting cute for the past few days or lemme just say my close dear friend claims that. i felt like i've been like this almost since the beginning of the year.. maybe because of the time i've spent with melvin. hehe.. hmm.. and this close friend told me that i'm just not cute material and stop trying to be cute. she thinks i'm more of a matured person than cute. wel, i kinda agree on that. but i don't believe that we can't be matured AND cute. can't we? hmm.. just kinda dissappointed. in a way i can't believe i've beccome those kind of girls when just a year ago would feel nauseous and irritated if i see a girl who's not cute at all trying to be cute. i'm turning into that. OH NO! hehe..

ps i might just change my mind a few days later so don't take this seriously. :)