i've been thinking about something the past few days.
My freedom here in Melbourne has been one i've cherished eversince i came here. It's been 2 years since the first time i arrived and to be honest, i'm already immune to the freedom i have. Lately, my father called and it reminded me of who i used to be. it held me back in position. making me feel guilty.
i go out on weekdays. watch movie on weekdays. sometimes late at night. i hardly come back before 9pm anymore. (but for most of it, it's because of staying in the lab working all night.) naturally, that rule doesn't apply to me anymore!
D : hello, Linggg??
Me : yeah, ba, hello.
D : what are you doinggg??
Me : oh just watched movie with erge.
(it was a thursday night)
D : watching movie on a weekday?
Me : Ouh, because me and er ge seldom meet ma. today can meet so watch movie lo. hehe.
(er ge stays with his friends. not with me.)
D : oh, call er ge here.
(i passsed the phone to er ge)
....................................................
next thing i know, my dad scolded er ge for bringing me out on a weekday-night. ...
i'm so immune to this i actually forgotten all bout curfew and all that! i know that, as a student in a foreign country, one must know his limits. i do! somehow i feel that going out on a weeknight till 11pm or 1 am is alright as long as you don't do drugs or do irresponsible drinking or do something that could jeopardise your future. what's wrong with watching movies or playing some games at a friend's house or just chatting outside, have a drink?
as long as you've done your work right?
i do try to understand the way they think but i'm sure they would feel and do exactly the same thing if they were studying abroad.
don't you think?
or have i forgotten myself?
how do i live life doing something i know couldn't harm anyone or myself but couldn't understand the rules my parents set for me of which i have to follow?
How will i ever get back to my life in malaysia?
sometimes i envy people with too much freedom.
oh by the way Chuck and Larry is hilarious! pls watch it..! hehe.
double dating.. hehe
lately i've also been thinking. I'm 20. TWENTY!! 20 years old. Ppl at this age would have gotten married and have children just 2 generations ago. and boy did they survive. i'm twenty and i haven't achieve anything important in my life! i'm starting to feel pressure to carry out my responsibility as a young adult to work on my career. where do i start? i do feel the urge to find out my dad is doing in the company or how people get rich or get a powerful career. but it's so hard! .. i do still want to be young and playful but when i get too much of that, i feel guilty. do u ?
i notice a bad habit i have. i know all my problems. i know what i should and should not do. i know all that. but i just don't do what i'm supposed to. and in the end, it depresses me. grrrr.
i'm just talking nonsense here. to get back to the flow of
blogging. so forgiveme, ppl if i suddenly jump here and there. :)
until next time! will have more on my previous birthday and the holidays. thanks to everyone who wished and celebrated with me! .. ( i know it's alil late now but i've been busy k!!)
