lyn | photography

New Beginning.

2009-11-27T12:46:00.005+08:00

A new year.... . Closing last year as the last year of being a young adult. I shall turn towards being responsible now!!

It's been half a year since my last post and so many things have happened since then.... There's single life and the joys and loneliness of single life.. There's new motivation upon realising that I am 22, no longer a young girl who still depends on her mommy.. that motivation is to start working and start earning and saving money... study like i've never studied before.. live life like there's no tomorrow and never push things to do on "another day"... There're interests and skills to be improved.. Knowledge to be acquired... So many things to do, it never seems to end...

updates :

Jiahau and Meitheng tying the knot

This is the first summer where i did not fly back home to malaysia to take my summer course. I have a part time job and so far I've been really busy. I learnt to socialise with co-workers, be friendly, don't frown, and that anything is satisfying when you put your heart and soul into it. even the summer design studio is unlike any studio i've ever taken. We have class from monday to thursday from 10am to 12pm and the remaining hours of the day, spent on group discussion and work... no stress, no pressure, just like an average person working everyday from 9 to 5...

Regardless, it does feel like I am always running out of time. I appreciate my time now and always try to do things quick. I think my mom'll be really proud of me if she knew how i've become. heehehe. ;) I feel as though I have never worked my body this way in my life.. I feel tired and drained. all i want is a holiday now. or more time to spend with my bf and friends.. But I have to say one thing, when a person starts working, they tend to be workaholics, always looking for jobs with a better deal. haha.. I couldnt help but browse through job websites just to see how the market is paying up these days. lol..

On another note, I am very grateful and happy that my life is surrounded by a minimal amount of bitches and hypocrits and just plain no-good-ppl in my life. I've come across one recently and I am glad to be rid of it... I just know i have to keep staying away cause they're my "xiao ren". I've learnt to deal with ppl the matured way, the good and the bad, though sometimes i admit i don't handle it very well, I try hard enough. I also realise that I am more daring to stand up for myself now, unlike before when i'll just keep quiet... Don'T PLAYPLAY!!

ok, everything written up there was written 9 months ago. Wow, time really flies, i've totally forgotten abt this place.. But my aspirations are still the same, I have recently just secured a fulltime job for after I graduate at the end of this year, yahooo!

my candle's still burning babeh!

Coping with single life.

2009-06-19T11:00:00.009+08:00

(Pictures were taken in Docklands.)

It's been a long while hasn't it...........

Many important events have happened since the last time I updated my blog that have led to what I am now expressing on this post. I have recently gotten out of a 3 and a half years relationship, more than half of it which had been long distance. Looking back, it really made me realise how naive we both were to actually believe that it could work. 4 years of long distance out of 5 if it were to work? Yeah..

Being newly-single, I find myself open to new and endless possibilities. Or rather, I find myself more and more like that Gigi character in the He's Just Not That Into You movie. When i first watched the movie, "what a loser.." i thought. and now, O-M-G, I'm turning into her!!! According to a close close friend, making all the first moves, being on someone's beck and call, obsessing over every little sign I pick up, basically just obsessing.... gosh. Why do women act this way??!

Tossing and turning in bed, especially recently when I have all the time in the world now that the midyear holiday has started and I always end up waking up after only 5 hours of sleep instead of the 7 to 8 hours that a NORMAL PERSON SHOULD HAVE, I am constantly thinking about my situation and why i feel that way whilst trying to get the additional 3 hours of sleep! I'm single now. What do I want? I haven't actually gotten use to the idea of being single, much less enjoy it. That is it. I haven't found the one thing that most single girls would love, the urge to enjoy its freedom. Everyone's telling me, a break up is the time to learn and reflect on your relationship, and what you want to do with life now that you are free of obligations. I have been ignoring that advice.

I know now I have to take my time, do things that I want, so that's what I'll do. Make a list of all the things i want to do this holiday, and continue to do the rest of this year. and not obsess over every boy I see or bothering my poor brother with the continual consistent complaints and demands of "wanting a boyfriend".

To-Do-List :

1) read all my AA,AI,Monument magazines, extend my knowledge on architecture.

2) cook dishes every day at least once a day (in the holidays), 5 times a week (when school starts)

3) exercise 1/2 hour daily.

4) rock climbing!

5) get my passport renewed, get a work permit, get a part time job.

6) make good use of my slr and learn of its functions properly.

7) inspired by Yes Man! I shall "yes" to things i normally say no to. YES YES YES!

********

I started the day feeling really down and disappointed with myself. But after 1/2 hour on the treadmill, preparing chicken noodle soup for breakfast at 10am, watching YES MAN, and a full day of shopping, i actually feel much much better. haha, exercising, cooking and shopping is indeed therapeutic. Gonna be going to my school's exhibition of the student's works in a bit.

********

Typed out this post a week ago. I'm glad i'm actually doing more than half the things on my list. :) i'm getting somewhere, yay!

More posts soooon. Will try to update as much as possible.

Eating Healthy and Exercising...

2008-10-30T14:15:00.003+08:00

TUMMY!!!!!! MY GOD YOU'VE EXPANDED A LOTTTT!!! ... (another omg moment, yannee..)

MUFA FOODS. haha been obsessing abt how to lose tht belly of mine. so managed to research on MUFA! -monounsaturated fats! they're supposed to help rid of belly fats worr... i don't know whether true or not la, but i've just bought most of them 2 days ago!! hahha, so they are avocados, almonds (basically most nuts), olive oil, dark chocolate, flaxseed oil, ... that's the ones i can remember.

Been on the treadmill the past 4 days for 40 minutes, sweating away..... before, maybe once a week?? .. and eating normal but more healthily, like nuts as snacks and fruit smoothies for breakfast instead of burgers and nuggets as a midnight snack. but like, i look down, the tummy look bigger lehhh!! .. okla, i know you can't work miracles in 4 days.. but shouldn't the tummy look normal and not bigger?? Aih, will just keep trying and see if the method works.

then i went online and check again on dieting stuff... they say, even if you're eating healthy food, you still need to consider how much of it you allow to consume!!! ... that means, it 's not just abt eating healthy food, it's also you have to eat small quantities of it!!!!! it's kinda like starving yourself with health foood!!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! ... and they say don't eat carbs. i love carbs. but i did eat less rice and noodles and all..... wuhooo.. tough to resist.

anyway, looks like tht dream of mine to look sexy when semester ends is fading away slowly... XD! (ok perasan here, but hey it's my blog!)

but i'm not giving up!!! i'm still gonna exercise and i'm still gonna eat the amount of food i desire!!! will try not to overeat... if cannot lose that excess fat, at least i'll still be content with life and also be healthy. ;)

the website i got the information from.

http://www.prevention.com/flatbellymufaslideshow/

Turning Weird. Betrayal.

2008-10-18T13:26:00.009+08:00

Obeservation has led me to believe that those people whose friends abandon them or have no one who is interested to be their friends tend to act weird and strange. Perhaps to get attention? I mean it's pretty normal right?? To act a little out of the ordinary when no one else is giving you attention or the treatment you need. Everyone is a social creature, they have to have someone to talk to or interact with.

In a way, I can't wait for next year, where all my closest friends will be going back home for good. Well of course i do feel scared as well. But I can finally try to make my own new friends and actually grow up on my own, discover my true self! not that that hasn't happened, but you know what i mean, experience something new right? like in foundation. :) But, what if i become one of those people who happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Where people are just not interested to make a new friend? where people are too busy with their own life? *shocks* what if it's not all that, they just hate me?? gasps! Nooooooo!!!

Oh well, I'll just see what happens next year la. People won't hate you unless you give them a reason to right? People we meet nowadays are all grown up anyways, we accept differences, no? Why you so scared woman? :) Here's another list of things i wanna do next year, for reference la k. Get a part-time job. Actually, that's abt it. XD!

I'm bored.

On another note,

I've got a problem. I am having trouble letting go. I can't find myself forgiving people who have wronged me. But not that they deserve any when they don't ask for any. But i know keeping the grudge is not the answer, so what does one do? We meet each other now and then but yet i can't talk normal, i just react as little as i could with that that person, trying to rid of any sense of closeness that there once was. Because i'm still angry with what that person did. How do you trust someone who has betrayed you before? What's worse is when you confront that person, and he pretends that he doesn't even know abt it. And he talks to you as though nothing happened.

So do we say "byebye" to such a friend? The friend that once was? Is that holding a grudge? It's more of taking precautions, no? Who makes the same mistakes twice?

AHHHHHH!!!! SO EXCITEDD!!

2008-10-13T14:58:00.003+08:00

Heehehe... i know i know.. now's supposed to be the stressful time of the semester and YES, i'm SUPPOSED TO BE STRESSED OUT! i'm so behind in my design (which is the most important subject in Architecture) yet! i'm already thinking abt what is going to happen when the semester is OVER! ... ok maybe now that i've said that sentence, i feel a bit funny in my stomache. Please yeelyn! must you wait till you learn an unwanted lesson before you'll start engaging seriously in your work??!?!? .. I HOPE NOT! ok i shall promise, after i post this blog, i'll keep doing my work till i finish what i'm supposed to today and finish the rest tomorrow before the big day! Ok.

Hehe, things to plan and make sure happen before going home is

(1) SHOPPING!! Just keep shop shop shoP! haven't shopped for a full month! i think. i look into my closet and i see nth to wear home! NOTHINGGGG!! .. Swimsuit, shorts, tshirts.. whatever.

(2) Plan Loris's 21st Birthday Party. Hehehe.. we've already got the theme worked out and everything, it's going to be fun!!

(3) GOLD COAST!! This MUST BE THE GREATEST HOLIDAY GETAWAY OF ALL TIME!! It will be!! i WILL GUARANTEE IT!! YEELYN, YOU BETTER PLAN PROPERLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NICELY OR IT'LL BE THE END OF YOU!!! i want to surf (a bit scared of jellyfish and sharks but i really really want to try! but scared la... but i want to try!), hug koalas, sit rollercoasters, walk the beach, play volleyball, take absolutely stunning pictures, barbecue and yes have a wonderful time with My Baby and friends!!!! should we drink? but i don't want to spoil the next day. maybe no drinking. we'll see! just wanna lie down in the sands at night and stare at the stars.. aih...

(4) Hmmm, hopefully we can squeeze in a roadtrip in Melbourne before going home. If we have time, that is, besides packing! So melvin can look a round melbourne before he goes back... :(!!! WUWUWUWUWUUUU... I'll be ALL ALONEEEEE!! damn dramatic i know. but i don't care!! MelviN!! Don't LEAVE MEEE!!

(5) Oh well, then there's just the Going home part. wahahhahahhaaa!!

Soooo soooo sooooo excited. Ok yeelyn, back to work.

ps Get off your ass and go do some exercise!! how to look sexy if you're just going sit down all day eating and sleeping?!?!?! XD!

yes, i'm super excited.

If all goes Well..

2008-10-04T22:16:00.008+08:00

A recap of last month's events... i didn't take enough pictures... aih.

So-called Arabian Night at Seven. Only like what, 5% of them who dressed up as Arabians?? and that's INCLUDING THE PROMOTERS. Anyways, it was still a fun night, lots of free drinks! ;) We had a steamboat earlier with Ben and Yensun and loris and the rest.. so was feeling real full before clubbing and that's not good! hehe..

It was a fun night, a night to remember! :) (THOUGH i can't remember how i got home safely... haha thanks for bringing me back girls!)

Then there was that Mamak Night at Loris's House which i regret not taking any pictures... i wasn't feeling very well when i was there.. (Hardcore drinkiing the night before). But we did play lanterns as well at the playground behind where i used to live.. a spectacular view, so stupid that i forgot to bring my camera out there! I made really bad biryani rice and the rest made laksa and muffins and most bought satays and currypuffs and that's most of what i can remember. OOOOH! Otak otak!! i didn't know they had that in Australia! yummmmm..

A week later, Lantern Festival... was playing lanterns at Carlton garden.. surprisingly there were other malaysians just like us playing lanterns that night... haha, the awkwardness when we pass each other and say Happy Mooncake Festival... and smile! +_+

My Brother, ChenChiang.

The rest of us.

Some Thursdays, we go Cho Gao and have some complimentary champagne... and also a random Seven Night.
One not-so-special morning where we (Jin fannie and I) went to take some pictures for our photography course... we stop by for a big breakfast before heading off to class. THat up there is the breakfast i'll never forget. Eggs Benedict. The hollandaise sauce is unforgettable... and that poached egg is perfect... Damn.. still thinking abt it.. Jin and Fannie had the Big Breakfast. This was just a cafe oppposite our school. Very Australian.

Then another photography session at St Kilda and we had dinner after that..

Thanks baby for helping me carry that heavy camera and braving that cold cold, strong wind!! I didn't know weather could change in 20 minutes!! :( hehe..

There was also a barbecue that Jasmine and Ai Peng had on 2 separate days which i also regret not taking any pictures. haha.. But it was really fun! Loved Mahjong and beer and Icecream and Touch Rugby!

... on another note...

If it all goes well, these are my wants and goals when i'm back in Malaysia for the coming holiday! :) I've seen people do very interesting and exciting things and i want to try them too!

(1) this is probably not very exciting.. but, i want to go to Bubba Gump Shrimps @ the Curve!

(2) Wall climbing.

(3) Paintballing... it's so sad that so many people's done this but i haven't. :(

(4) I actually wanna play touch rugby at Langkawi. hehe.. Kelvin, here i come~ who wants to come with me to langkawi??

(5) Is it possible to go target shooting with a real gun without a license?? like just try??

(6) GO work at my dad's office ON TIME and for a FULL 2 MONTHS.

(7) Learn to edit videos at home and edit all the uneditted pictures!

(8) Lose that tummy of mine and get a target of a 25 inch waistline! hehehehe..

(9) Have the best pajamas-themed party at my house (a better organised one)! hehehe..

(10) Go to Bali!!

All these don't sound very hard right?? haha, hope all goes well so that i can do all of them! So that i can't say sorry to my 21st year! Wooooo!! ..

I kinda shock sendiri huh... :)

Anyway, things are getting more hectic lately.. more assignments, yet i'm still glued to the Sims 2 like nobody's business!! Melvin's got his PSP and i've got my game and we just couldn't stop!! i understand how games can ruin our future!! so i'm not playing till i actually finish my work everytime before my classes (though i'm still thinking abt it now, i just had twins!!) hahaha.. yeah, so i'm gonna start on my work now. And have a more balanced sleeping schedule girl!! Until next time! Miss you girls! :)

My Mid Year Holiday...

2008-09-28T03:12:00.001+08:00

-Well, i found this post not posted up... i wrote this abt 2 months ago i think.. haha.. don't wanna waste the post.-

~~~~

Let's recap on what happened in the past semester break...

I've had 3 really special 21st Birthday celebrations in melbourne! There was my real birthday where people who are closest to me came with the intention of surprising me at 12 midnight! i was literally sleeping because i was procrastinating from going to school to finish off my last submission due 2 days later. Thanks boys and girls! i love you all!

Then there was my 2nd celebration with my Uni friends in Sofia's! Thanks Kenneth and Harvey for my delicious Birthday cake!! love it!

Then, there was my Big 21st Birthday Bash in Parkville, with all my other dear friends and acquaintances here in Melbourne.. We had a fully themed party and it's "All Grown Up! and it's fully decorated with Keys and balloons. You know why. Everyone's supposed to come in either gold, yellow, white or grey. Not everyone wore those (a few didn't know abt it, i don't blame you guys!), but i'd like to give extra thanks to all who did! And finally, thanks to all for coming and making my birthday fun and special! It meant a lot to me!

Well, that one way to wrap the starting of my 21st year!

Hmm, a few days later, there was the arrival of the bubby, sweet, sexy secret love of my life, (don't be angry, loukong and loupo!) the one and only WongMeiWen. SO we brough her around...

My first Costume party in my Life~ Chai Lee and Joo's 21st Birthday-Halloween Party! Loved the setting, the deco, the costumes! I was glad to be involved, Chai Lee and Joo! Thanks for having me!

Then there was Philip Island.. We didn't get to see the kangaroos! .. maybe next time baby! the penguins were adorable..

Then there was all the open houses or just parties and random parties all over! :) A very lively holiday for me! a great start of my 21st year!! What are my objectives this year?

1) achieve a HD in my UpperPool Design Class.. HOPEFULLY! (Dont think it's happening.)

2) take 20 FANTASTIC pictures from now till the end of the year.

3) exercise at least 4 times a week!

4) be a trainee at a different architectural practice for 2 months. (Ok, maybe just my dad's place.)

5) train in badminton consistently and beat Weng Keong! (Been training!)

6) read one article (anything) a day. (Not really...)

Ok, these 6 should be enough for this year. My god, i'vee already screwed 1/3 of them up... but you can keep trying!

On a whole other note, i've now been separated from 2 close friends of mine. Loris and Fannie. My dearest..

(No pictures to post up as you've seen them all on facebook.) :)

Tagged By Yan Nee!

2008-09-24T18:56:00.002+08:00

Got tagged, well, it's one excuse to blog! haha.

Rules :

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

4. No tags back!!

~~~

NO 1, I like to bite the edges of my fingers where the nail ends till it bleeds. especially when the excess skin keep flying out. i know it's a disgusting habit but i can't break it, especially when i'm stressed.

NO 2, I had the biggest crush on brad pit when i was 12, hoping everyday that he'd appear at my front door. hahaha... oh man... especially after i watch Meet Joe Black... man..

NO 3, I CANNOT LISTEN TO PEOPLE when i watch movies. People have to shout at me to get my attention. Like, PASS THE PLATE LAAA!!

NO 4, When i start watching a movie, i would never stop till the end.

NO 5, Sometimes when i really like the movie, i can watch it again the next day, and the next, till i get really bored!

NO 6, Sometimes when i've watched a movie that made me cry, i'd find movies with themes like that, just to cry even more.. like an EMO Movie Marathon. I don't know why..

NO 7, Ok, enough abt movies. hehe.. I love egg yolks too, yannee!! hehe.. i put them in my bread, with my rice, with my instant noodles.. by itself. i can eat eggs for weeks! especially when the yolk is 1/3 cooked so there's some solids and also liquids.. yum!!

NO 8, so difficult la.. so hard to think.. ouh, i like to stay up late even when i know that i have to get up early the next day. I don't know why, i'm tired, my eyes are heavy, but i can't sleep. takes me a while before i could. Wish i can rub my feet warm like you huh, yannee.. hehe..

NO 9, i admit that i was really proud that i could eat and could not gain weight, but that is not the case now. :( i have to exercise d..

NO 10, i like to dig my nose with my thumb, simply because my thumb fits my nose hole and the nails aren't as sharp as the other fingers. hahaha...!

NO 11, I am ashamed and embarrased that i could not speak proper mandarin and cantonese but yet, i don't do anything about it. i always say i'd do sth, but i don't.

NO 12, When i was twelve, i cried everyday for 1 month for fear of my parents passing away in a car accident or sth... (TOUCH WOOOD!!) i kesian my friends at that time.

NO 13, I am addicted to Sims 2. When i'm not playing it, i think abt it, A LOT.

NO 14, One time, when i noticed blood in my urine and it hurts so bad, i thought i was going to die of sth.. I couldn't sleep that whole night thinking abt it ... ( i never knew how much i really depended on my mother when this happened.. all i wanted to do was talk to her abt it... but it was late at night and i didn't want to wake her up.. I cried myself to sleep) Aih when i see the doctor, i found out it was just a bladder infection.. scared the shit out of me! i didn't drink a lot of water and i should.

NO 15, ooooh! when i was young around 5 or 6, or 3 or 4, i'm not sure, my mom say that everytime she try to bath me, or change my clothes for me, i'll cry and scream and give her a really hard time! hahaha, i think this is a good one.
That's all folks!

And now, i tagggggg :

1) Tammy
2) Mei Wen
3) Evonne Chia
4) Bryiez
5) Weng Foo
6) Well, whoever else who stumbles across this post! :)

Rambling..

2008-08-19T15:46:00.003+08:00

How do we decide who we keep with us and who we let go?

How do we forgive? How?

Is it true that once something passes a certain point, there really is no turning back?

An Emotional Week..

2008-06-02T00:17:00.005+08:00

Hello...

** I'll have you all know that i am NOT SO FREE DURING MY STUDY WEEK THAT I CAN BLOG. I am now in the library logging on into a very old and slow computer waiting for the computer labs upstairs to be free.. so that i can continue doing my work!!! it's all full and my deadline's approaching!! ARGH... ...well, while waiting, i will just talk abt my recent emotional week... Don't waste time ma, right.. :)**

A friend of mine sent me an email about the earthquake in China... I just opened it yesterday and i came across a picture that drove me to tears. Melvin looked at it and i could tell he was wondering why i was crying at that particular picture.... It wasn't a picture of crushed bodies or men and women crying.. It was just a boy eating some noodles..

I just kept thinking he must have been 5? and he's there eating all by himself! at that age, we all probably have our mommies feeding us and calling for us to eat! .. but he's there, eating so hungrily and lining up for food.. who knows.. This picture made me realise how lucky i am to have such a blessed childhood.. Maybe this emotion has lots to do with my mom visiting me the past week. I miss her so so much.. There was great cooking again.. We were happily talking abt how she is and how we are.. what we did.. and i didn't feel so lost again.. Even when it was a stressful time, i didn't feel stressful at all. Whatever stress i was having, it disappeared with my mom's laughter, even nags. hehe, i didn't want to leave her.. One time i had to go to the lab because it was my last class and i needed to get some work done before the study week to show my tutor. So tak sampai hati.. aih.. but i went la.. anyways, we cooked together, went for dinners, the movie Indiana Jones (Just like old times.. family watching movie together.. hehe.), shopping, and also celebrate melvin's birthday. It was great fun. i'll always appreciate it and never forget it.

I also felt so lucky la.. Throughout the whole visit, my mom took care of us.. she cooked, she made sure we have a place to stay(which was the main reason she came during this time anyway), and she cleaned up the house better than any of us living in the house could. Maybe that's what hit me hard when i saw that picture. The difference between me and that boy is that i still have my mommy taking care of me and making sure i'm ok and he didn't.. I'm like a 2o year old baby. and i realise, i shouldn't be anymore. i should grow up. When my mom visited, i realised a few extra wrinkles on her face, a few grey hair on her scalp.. It's not her turn to take care of us anymore. We should start taking care of her!

**Even when she's cold, she still wants to give me the thick blanket.. ** This kind of self sacrifice, I'm gonna cry..! Love you mommy! so so much! You're the best mommy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pictures will be up when i go home and edit this la. :)

There's another emotional thing i would wanna talk abt but another time la k. i'm gonna check on the computers now. Until next time!

Friends??

2008-05-13T13:27:00.003+08:00

it's been so long, hasn't it.. 3 months!! .. how's my life nowadays? it's been good. it's never been better. i would like this year to last forever but that's not gonna happen, is it...

Meiwen's birthday just passed and i'm glad she had a quality 20th birthday. You know, thinking abt her makes me think abt my friends.. There're those friends where the closeness never fades no matter how long we've never seen each other, and there're those friends who seem to fade away when you meet them. there're friends you just met and wanna know more of, and those whom you don't want to ... anymore. Friends who care for you genuinely and sends emails or messages just to talk about themselves and share stories and ask for yours.. Friends who want to have fun with you. Friends who just want to meet up without any other intentions but just to catch up and friends who want to meet up just to show off to their other friends.

For me, the kinds of friends you'll never forget, are those you first thought of calling when you're celebrating your sweet 16 or your 21st, those you want to call first hand when you got promoted or when you lost someone so important, those you turn to when you break up, those you had the best times with, simply because we've had a genuine, fun time, we were honest, we were open, we were not afraid to be judged, we were just ourselves. Friends who touch your heart by just listening and giving the small gifts that you mentioned. Friends who touch your heart by missing class to spend time with you when you came back from abroad. Friends who trust you and never judges you but understand you. and last but not least, friends who listen to you when you have problems to pour out, vice versa. Meiwen, you're among one such friend. i'll never forget you, my great true sexy friend. Happy Belated Birthday. I don't know why i just felt like rambling abt that. People only need that many true friends, right?

meiwen, and tammy too! i know this post doesn't say much abt me recently, just something i felt like rambling abt. i'll post another one up soon abt me k? hehe, love you girl!

Evonne's 21st Birthday Surprise!!!

2008-02-01T22:55:00.007+08:00

Everyone's 21st have to be special to everyone right? 21 - the age where you've officially turned into an adult and are expected to act like one. Not to mention the rights to do anything adults are allowed to do. Go to the casino, Go to ALL the clubs.. what else? anyway, sometime ago, that person who turned 21, was our friend, Evonne. :) Beeli suggested doing something for her birthday and i thought, why not? Let's Do It! Then, everyone else chipped in their help and contributions.

Evonne, Me and my Baby. How she jumped into the picture so quick, i'd never know! ;)

I haven't been blogging recently but i feel up and about to blog about this event. :) Just so you, Evonne can also know what happened before the surprise. hehe. Beeli actually suggested it and we carried it out. It's a Greek Theme. Although the only "greek" setting was a table with deco around it, i love that small set. I was really trying to go all out! Everyone had to wear white and gold. We initially wanted to get white and gold balloons but we couldn't get to it. Everyone's so busy that day. So sorry evonne, i think it would have made it even more Greek.

Candles and gold ribbons to add more to the theme..

Ouh yeah, i would also like to apologise to everyone for coming later than 6 when i actually told u all to come at 6. Sorry k.. anyway, when we got there, we place the food, the props and waited for Evonne to arrive. While waiting, we camwhored a bit, as usual... hehe.

The Set.

And everyone gathered and took picture at the table. It's nice right?!?!?

Baby & I.

Bee & Princess

Former Head-Prefect. :)

Lim-Pek & his Gf.

The Boys.

The Planners.

True Best Friend.

Ouh and if you haven't noticed, we've made sure EVERYONE wore gold-colour head bands on their heads, INCLUDING MELVIN! he was giving me such a hard time... aih... look at him.. sulking... hehee.

I'm Sorry baby, but this picture's really funny!

Anyway, when it was 7.45, when Sherwin said he'd bring her in, Beeli started getting paranoid about the noise we've been making and asking everyone repeatedly to SHHHHHHHHHHH... (Over-excited.) hahha, it wasn't even close! And there was a false alarm! the neighbour was unlocking their doors and we were waiting for OUR door to open! haha. Beeli started it! They came at 8.30, i think..

surprise!!!!

Look at her... Carrying her Baskin Robbins paperbag.. haha..

awww, Don't cry..

When evonne finally arrived, she's got the shock of her life, she thought she was being robbed! haha, but she cried when she realised what it was... Here's some pictures of her crying of happiness. XD Sorry ar. hehe. I have never seen her cried before. It's something new...

Sorry it's Blur..

Tears of Happiness. i Think.

Birthday Gurl!

SherWin & Eve.

Everyone brought some food. Loris and her infamous pasta, Michelle and her salad, Beeli and her fruits, my fried chicken and nuggets, Melvin's delicious mash potatoes, Wengkeong and Jianwen's drinks, Ho Wai's and SherWin's CUPCAKES, Goh and Jureen's KFC and WengKin's PizzaHut's Pizzas!! Thanks everyone for bringing in food and coming! We ate around the table and just chatted and talked and basically had fun! I just hope you've had as much fun as i did, evonne!

After a while, there was too much watermelon left and we didn't want to waste it.... I don't know how it happened, but weng kin was punished to eat most of them.. poor thing.... Oh well. XD

Constipated?

I'm ok!

Ling Keat, Eve & Bee

Jureen, Goh, Me, My Baby..

Group Photos! Girls. Note, All Wearin White.

The End.......

The End of the Year has Come.

2007-12-05T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm, finally have some time to update my bloggggg!!! how is EVERYBODY.... who visits my blog.... ??? hehe..

got back from Melbourne Australia on the morning of 14th November. and a lot happened since then.......... hmmmm......... i've blogged a lot less recently huh..

well, it's been quite usual when i got back. my lovely lovely parents picked me up and drove me home and i ate my mommy's homemade minsin noodle soup! yum... omg, still can't forget that since i came back. i didn't stop talking in that car on the way home from the airport. i just kept talking and talking.. i miss my mom and dad. :)

then there was the occasional going out/relaxing the first 2 weeks after i came back. Then, it's all work work work, and busy busy busy! i really can't imagine how life'll be when we really start working. how do we cope??? with friends? family? loved ones? it's really 2/3 of your life gone. just for working! for now, i'm appreciating everything i have. My youth, my time, my life.

Friends? Here? We caught up i guess... still want to go out more often though. :) There're still many people i want to seee!

Had a trip to Pahang, organised by Benjy and Steven. It was alright! half was fun i guess. :) if more of the girls went, i think it'd be perfect. This is the first time melvin and i went to the beach together. we cycled along the sands, we sat in front of the waves at night, the splash of the water sounds so peaceful.. and i found, melvin was really competitive in games. he hates to admit it, but he is! my, was he active! it was like that time he was playing charades. Over-excited la. hehe, but i love it, he looked so cute. Just don't get over-competitve with me k!

another thought crossed my head this holiday and it's been very clear to me. How do you open up to someone you can't trust? i think the answer is, you don't. You just stay away. That is what i'm intending to do anyway. No point opening up just so that you can be treated like a fool right? there's one thing i really hate when people do it to me (not that many people do), i hate it when they tell a lie right, a lie that is so obvious that it is a lie, it's as if they think you're stupid! Basically, i just hate people who talk to you like you're stupid, be it the tone of voice or the things they're talking abt. anyway, ... yeah stay away and be careful!

Lately, i've also been thinking about people. How to deal with people. Thought about it a lot. I've been exposed to people who craves attention. Like loads of attention, like they'll die if they don't get any and taking any measures just to do it. or people who are two-faced and lie to just anybody. Like everyone's out to get them. One who lie about Every Single Thing. so, i was thinking, There must be a reason why i don't get along with certain people. Then, I've come to a conclusion, for me to get along with everyone, i have to accept them for who they are, respect them for what they do, cause there's a reason everyone is the way they are. So, i respect you for who you are. I accept you for who you are. I don't judge you for your past. Just respect me and don't be rude to me. Try not to lie, I'm not out to get you.

This is a happy new year that i've started off with. To everyone i haven't wished, happy 2008!!! It's been 9 days already and i haven't kept up with most of my new year resolutions. but things are still underway. :) most of them are about getting me into better shape of body, and of mind. i hope for a more independent self. and less worrying parents. worrying too much is not good anyway.

my lovely mommy! muaks!

will talk about more the next time!

Ello.

2007-09-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating much. I think, mainly because of my camera. You see, that charger just stopped working one day. and i haven't been able to take pictures since. now depending on my video cam and loris's cam. hehe. Also i've been a lazy girl, and to update ppl about my everyday life when i'm at the "lazy" stage, just makes me feel useless and depressed (cause i haven't been doing much.).

at Seven.

hehe, so, i've decided to wait till that lazyness is no longer around. i don't dare to say it is now, but believe it or not, if i continue being like this, i'll fail, and i can't let that happen. Actually, that's quite believable. So..........

Still at Seven.

The midsemester holiday ended. Although i wouldn't say it was much of a holiday for me. I've left so much work till the end that now it's all time to catch up. But, the past week have been busy and at least a tad bit more interesting than the rest of the middle of the semester. :) I've had more life.

bbq turned indoor meal.

I've been labeled by someone who studies psychology to appear more like a collectivist but may actually be an individualist. i've forgotten the exact words she used, but A collectivist is more or less someone whose characteristics, behaviour and opinions are influenced by the way other ppl think. Like in a society. So the opinions of others actually make up how they are today. Most asians are collectivists. I wonder, are they more easily manipulated and submissive? Then an individualist is more often someone who strongly have his own thoughts and opinions and would very much stick to it and defend it. The downside to this, is that they appear more selfish.

fannie n i.

fannie's 20th.

i think i used to be a collectivist. But now, i'm half half. It's important to me to know that in the sense that i should know to stand up for myself. Now, when i think it's right, i do it. When it's not, i don't. Starting to, bit by bit la. hopefully, soon, i can do so without having to hold back a tear. hehe, just a day ago, i've been talking with a friend who seem to share the same problems as me. Experience the same things. we are so similar! She made me realise that life is more than what other people think. It's what you think. And the way she stood up for herself. I'm so proud of her. You know la who you are. hehe. We must let ppl know we are nice but not too nice to be stepped on, No-seri!
Anyways, one issue i've been thinking abt the past month was how to "juo ren". direct translation in mandarin is "make People" = become a person = become a person who can handle situations well. Like what to say and do at the right time. I'm still tackling with that.

People who are mighty close to me say that i don't THINK when i talk.

The consequences of that is certainly not good, especially for my future. We must consider how anything we say to someone impact them. For me to think so much, it's gonna take even longer for me to say sth to someone else at times where stressful situations and problems need to be resolved. These are crucial to giving people good impressions and letting them know you know how to handle situations. Also, not to hurt people's feelings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lantern Festival.

hmmm, been clubbing, Wii-ing, shopping, argueing....................... also the Lantern Festival hehe.. i miss moon cake. Lately, just been to Dracula's to have a carberet dinner. It was the bomb! The performers were really good at dancing, singing, making jokes, it's all very entertaining. Totally worth it to go watch even though it's a little expensive. But all in all, it's a 3 course meal. Ok la the food. so yeah........

i love this cany castle. Looks so..like the ones i see in movies at the funfairs. hehe

The next day, went to the Royal Melbourne Show with Loris and Jiawen and Gemaine. Also with her sister and friends. Good thing they had coupons, so we get to sit all the rides twice for the price of one! hehehehe. We sat 3 rides all together. It all spins, and swings and ... just crazy! but it was fun to do all that once in a while. hehe. release your stress and tension!

Dracula's, the Carberet Dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The alley.

That weekend, there was Benjy's birthday party. Spend the day trying to do as much work as possible before going. :) it was alright. I was great! i really looked up to Benjy and his ability to make so many friends in just a year. I gotta be more outgoing. hehe, there were like 25 of us all trying to fit in his living room. it was alright, he removed the chairs and tables, shifted them to the back alley. we hung out there for a while. it was fun all together.

Ian, Me, and Tob.

WengKin, Ian, Goh and Jureen were there too. We ate , and then went back to the living room and tried socialising with everyone. after a few games, we asked to excuse ourselves to go for a shishaaaa session. it was fun and engaging. just wish i was bettter. had a stucky flu and a cough. but all's good. But during that party, i was just looking at all the couples and that never made me fail to think about Melvin. How happy they are together. Whilst melvin and i are so far apart......................................

I love our Eyes..

anyways, all was good and we went back around 2.30am. We should have more. ;) Then we can complain more abt our architecture course and its workload ey, jureen??? hehe.

Goh and i.

Hmmmm... what else... the holidays was well spent, i guess.

Football/Handball Star.

Oh Choon Leong can make really good Bak Kut Teh leh, ppl!! hehehe, (don't worry, i won't give away your Secret recipe! ;)) you satisfied my BakKutTeh urge till i go back. i think. and thanks for dinner k??? Went to his house the other day. And i was rushin my work and he asked me to come down for dinner. how can isay no right??? Bak Kut Teh lehhhh..hehehehe

Jureen, Me and Lorisssss.

wth... why am i talking to ppl here like they're gonna read my blog?!??! (there's a wanting in my heart that they might.........hahaha. )

Benjy's Cake from Brunetti..

anyways..

How is it that when one thinks that she could handle a relationship without depending on it so much in the beginning can feel so shattered when there's the thought that the relationship could end....

when melvin was here... and jin.

I hate having to feel like i depend on my loved one. Especially there comes time when u SUSPECT something is going on. And at such a faraway distance, i hope u understand why i have such paranoia. Now i know how you felt the last time. i'm trying to bring this feeling of dependence down a notch. Think i can do it?? perhaps find more things to do and not concentrate so much on the issue of love... although i hate to admit it, (cause my dad siad it so many times before) sometimes, love can be so distracting in our studies...

hmmmm, btw, let's bet how long it'll take for melvin to check on my blog after i post this up. heheehehe..

when melvin left..

On a random note,

Thanks ppl, for being there for me when i need you! I love you all! ciao......

Unconditinal Love

2007-09-07T08:57:00.000+08:00

you know, you would think that there would be unconditional love between friends or loved ones. (xcept family, that's one true love!) i used to think such things do exist! but it seems now, what everyone does for another, they always hope for something in return. When they don't get any returns or special treatment from you, they STOP giving help, or whatever. I guess it is just another reality of life, it is only human to secretly want something back from someone else. i hate it!

ok i just checked the dictionary for the meaning of unconditional love and i think that doesn't mean what i'm trying to say. -_-" only a part of it. er, when you love someone, a friend, you will continuously check up on them right, ask to meet up, help them when they need help? you would assume that they would do that right? your friend would probably assume the same thing, right? if both keeeps assuming that, who's really gonna do it? what, if ur friend stops looking you up, you do the same? what if your friend keeps asking you for help and you don't want to help them cause u think u're on the losing end? ok that's Not Unconditional love. but really, it is only human to do what they think is right. if all you gave them before was a cheap cup of tea, i guess in the end, that's what you get. all the things we learn as a kid, in storybooks or those morale lessons, to help people when they need it, (that's exactly what we do), but don't expect something in return (when does that ever happen?)... unless of course, when you help someone on instinct, a stranger who dropped his books and pencilbox and keys and water bottle all at the same time. but on some friend, there's always somewhere in your heart where you think, ok now he OWES me. muahahaha.. i guess the morale lessons are possible to practice, in certain ways..

hmmm i guess it's called "keikhlasan". shit, what is that called in english? (i just read back what i wrote and man, i jump from here to there! will work on that.)

anyways, do you agree with me when i say , if u think too much, u won't get to it, cause then all you'd do is doubt. seriously, to think or not to think! sometimes spending too much time on ur own gets u to think of ridiculously almost anything. when u're doing your assignment, when you're doing your housechores, when you're walking back to the tramstop. YEELYN! stop thinking!! the past 2 weeks have been busy for me. all assignments that sometimes i have no time to go back home. at one point i didn't go back for 2 nights in a row. had to overnight in a friend's place where it's closer to uni, just to wash up and have short naps. i'm really feeling the torture in Archi-torture. (I like whoever invented this phrase ;)) but i won't say i've been angelic the whole time, i did stop by some shops and bought some things to cheer me up a bit. hehe, and also thanks to iris for the occasional chocolate muffins. yum!!! they really do fulfil your NEEDS.. chocolate... yummm...

until next time! feels good going on abt random stuff. :)

Wedding Ring. (short post)

2007-08-25T01:53:00.000+08:00

i saw this wedding ring and i fell in love with it!

it is avril lavigne's !! .. it look so special. kinda like 2 in one but doesn't look like it's too much or too old.

ouhhh.. i love it...!

anyways, i need to get high. i've been sober for months. ;)

i'm not planning to get married anytime soon and i have never dreamed about how my wedding would be.. but now that i think about it, it's really nice just to fantasize. hehe.

Myself, Forgotten?

2007-08-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking about something the past few days.

My freedom here in Melbourne has been one i've cherished eversince i came here. It's been 2 years since the first time i arrived and to be honest, i'm already immune to the freedom i have. Lately, my father called and it reminded me of who i used to be. it held me back in position. making me feel guilty.

i go out on weekdays. watch movie on weekdays. sometimes late at night. i hardly come back before 9pm anymore. (but for most of it, it's because of staying in the lab working all night.) naturally, that rule doesn't apply to me anymore!

D : hello, Linggg??

Me : yeah, ba, hello.

D : what are you doinggg??

Me : oh just watched movie with erge.

(it was a thursday night)

D : watching movie on a weekday?

Me : Ouh, because me and er ge seldom meet ma. today can meet so watch movie lo. hehe.

(er ge stays with his friends. not with me.)

D : oh, call er ge here.

(i passsed the phone to er ge)

....................................................

next thing i know, my dad scolded er ge for bringing me out on a weekday-night. ...

i'm so immune to this i actually forgotten all bout curfew and all that! i know that, as a student in a foreign country, one must know his limits. i do! somehow i feel that going out on a weeknight till 11pm or 1 am is alright as long as you don't do drugs or do irresponsible drinking or do something that could jeopardise your future. what's wrong with watching movies or playing some games at a friend's house or just chatting outside, have a drink?

as long as you've done your work right?

i do try to understand the way they think but i'm sure they would feel and do exactly the same thing if they were studying abroad.

don't you think?

or have i forgotten myself?

how do i live life doing something i know couldn't harm anyone or myself but couldn't understand the rules my parents set for me of which i have to follow?

How will i ever get back to my life in malaysia?

sometimes i envy people with too much freedom.

oh by the way Chuck and Larry is hilarious! pls watch it..! hehe.

double dating.. hehe

lately i've also been thinking. I'm 20. TWENTY!! 20 years old. Ppl at this age would have gotten married and have children just 2 generations ago. and boy did they survive. i'm twenty and i haven't achieve anything important in my life! i'm starting to feel pressure to carry out my responsibility as a young adult to work on my career. where do i start? i do feel the urge to find out my dad is doing in the company or how people get rich or get a powerful career. but it's so hard! .. i do still want to be young and playful but when i get too much of that, i feel guilty. do u ?

i notice a bad habit i have. i know all my problems. i know what i should and should not do. i know all that. but i just don't do what i'm supposed to. and in the end, it depresses me. grrrr.

i'm just talking nonsense here. to get back to the flow of

blogging. so forgiveme, ppl if i suddenly jump here and there. :)

until next time! will have more on my previous birthday and the holidays. thanks to everyone who wished and celebrated with me! .. ( i know it's alil late now but i've been busy k!!)

Crappy Update. (sorry guys..)

2007-08-19T01:44:00.000+08:00

it's been 3 months since my last post.

Things that happened from then till now.

My Birthday.

Melvin's stay in Melbourne.

Tammy and Laurence's visit in Melbourne.

Loris's return to Malaysia.

Fun Fun Fun.

Tammy leaves, Laurence leaves, and then.. Melvin leaves.

Fun time over.

Work and Assignment time.
.................................................
till now..

i know this is a crappy post. but that's it for now. gonna talk and post more later! :)

forgive me!!

The Few Days Before Submissions.

2007-05-26T01:47:00.000+08:00

What i've been doing the past week.

Work,

Eat,

Work,

Eat,

Work,

Eat,

tv,

Eat,

sleep.

Soon to be schedule :

Work,

Eat,

Work,

Eat,

Work,

Eat,

Eat,

Work,

Eat,

Work,

Sleep,

Dream of Working.

I noticed that in this course, all u do is wonder WHEN i can get this tech work done. Or that history discussion over. or when to draw out that plan. will i have time to do this. when can i go to the lab. is the weekend enough. before i sleep, it's a routine i have to figure out and plan the first thing to do in the morning. u know, like when u're closing ur eyes? the few seconds before u sleeep? i thought i was the only one who does that. but nooo. me and my friends were just talking bout our day before that class and they said just that. maybe it happens to everyone. but wow, i just found out others do the thing i do, everyday.

anyways, busy busy busy. Work Work Work. Would probably be a lil Free-er after the 1st of June. :)

oh, Happy Birthday to Melvin!! the greatest bf i knowww!! muaksss bie!

I LIKE THIS SONG.

2007-05-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

This song ROCKS.

Keep Your Hands Off My Girl - Good Charlotte.

Let the record play,
Let the record play,
Let the record play.

The way that you dance,
The way that you move,
The way that you stare at me across the room,

You carry Dior bags,
And you got your Chanel,
You wear Louis Vuitton, HG, and YSL,
Now I got what you need,
I got DCMA
I got brass knuckles hanging,
From my neck and my chain,
I got a model 26,
But she stays in her place,
I got a curve shirt neatly,
Tucked inside in my waist.

[Chorus:]
And the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
The hipster keeps mugging on me all night long,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl,
They say "Aha, ahha",
But the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl.

Now she sweating my friends,
And my hurricane shoes,
She likes the records I spin,
But out Adam Barton tattoos,
But she can't say "what's up",
So what does she do,
She just stays posted up,
The other side of the room,
I got AMC tattooed on my hand,
I got black wall street on a black bandana.

[Chorus:]
And the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
The hipster keeps mugging on me all night long,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl,
They say "Aha, ahha",
But the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl.

She, she, she don't wanna talk about it,
He, he, he wants to fight about,
Me, me, I don't wanna fight about it,
I just wanna be about it,
I'm just trying to stay about it,
Step out the wagon,
You know the boy starts to hate,
The girl that came with him,
They like that's not the boy she dates,
They get the fighting and swearing,
And now the boyfriend is staring,
The disco ball on the ceiling,
Looks like the chain that I'm wearing,
But the music keeps playing,

I got brass knuckles hanging,
from my neck and my chain,
I got brass knuckles hanging,
from my neck and my chain.

And the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
The hipster keeps mugging on me all night long,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl,
And the record keeps playing,
The same old song,
The hipster keeps mugging on me all night long,
They say "Aha, ahha",
Keep your hands off my girl,
Keep your hands off my girl.

You carry Dior bags,
And you got your Chanel,
You wear Louis Vuitton, HG, and YSL,
Now I got what you need,
I got DCMA,
I got brass knuckles hanging,
From my neck and my chain,
I got brass knuckles hanging,
From my neck and my chain.

Written on the 9th of May.

2007-05-18T12:24:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, such a lovely morning.. (afternoon really..) i was sleeping on my bed, loris came in and jumped on the bed.. we laughed.. we talked.. a bit.. i was still blur and sleepy.. hehe.. but it felt like a sunday morning. it's great! :)

relaxed in your comfortable, soft, smooth Egyptian cotton sheets... feeling cool with the fresh air flowing in through my window.. wrapped up in my Hubbie's Adidas sweatshirt that warmed me up as though it was him. Not too cold, not too hot. Just nice. The sunny rays shines through my window and was a signal, telling me to get off my bed.. :)

woke up with a great mind and conscience. positive, fresh mind.

decided to eat a grand breakfast!! yummm...

may not be grand to some of y'all but this is great achievement for me to be cooking breakfast ok!!!? :)

scrambled eggs.. fried ham.. baked mushrooms with butter and honey.. toasts, and grilled hot dog.. yummmmm! check it out.

watched Everybody Loves Raymond. It's so funny! i really loved it. i love Everybody Loves Raymond!!! especially after what i talked about in the previous post, i really appreciated and enjoyed this episode. it's like after watching it, u feel that underneath this family with hate and anger and controversions towards one another, being cynical and everything.. is one big loving family who'll be there for each other in times of crisis, need, and help. it's really beautiful.

to me..

i love my family. i really really do.

oh, went shopping after that. it's crazy! i'm so behind work. gotta get my butt working now!! 3 more weeks left! aikS!

i don't know why i put this picture up. that sandwich sucked big time. :(

now 2 weeks left. oh noo!!

ps i miss badminton..

pps i miss my mommy..

ppps er ge, i want my atm card backkkk!!!! ;)

What happened today made me realise..

2007-05-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

view of the tramstop

I was coming back to my house from the city today (watched spiderman 3, not bad. really funny!) and as usual, i waited at the tramstop. while waiting for my tram, i sat down next to an old lady as i was carrying groceries (heavy) and a bag with my books (research) and also some cardboards all rolled up. i took out my phone and i messaged my biee... :)

halfway there, the old lady beside me, white hair, old, plump and seems to be in her 60s, i think, started talking to me.. seemed like those harmless, friendly, warm types. it caught me by surprise..

Lady : (says something, wasn't really sure what she said) that's incredible.. click click .. fast..

Me : huh? sorry?

Lady : you typed ur phone there real quick, it goes click click click click.. ( imitating fingers moving) it's fascinating.. i can never do that..! too old to start learning! ..

Me : laughed along..

Lady : you could send messages like that to your parents? and they could read it? How much is it?

Me : Yeah u can. but i wasn't sending messages to my parents... One's like 20 cents..

Lady : that's cheap.

view from the tramstop (where i'm sitting down)

Me : yeah..

Lady : you working here?

Me : oh no, i'm studying here.

Lady : studying what?

Me : architecture.

Lady : (shows Awe expression, nods head)

Me : I've been here two years. ( tried to make a conversation.. regretted the next thing i asked.)

You have any children?
(i figured that's what you ask an old lady. Surely they'd love to talk bout their children, right?)

Lady : oh, no.. i don't have any. i was married but i have no children. and Marcus's gone now.. (i'd assume marcus's her husband.)

You : oh.. oh i see.. hmmm..

awkward silence..

really awkward silence..

(and i couldn't think of anything else to say!! i felt so baddd!!)

Lady : oh, when's that tram coming..?? (looking at the tram timetable screen on the left side..talking softly, but loud enough for me to catch it..) probably trying to break the silence..

I kept thinking to myself, "maybe i should say i'm an orphan! then she won't feel so bad.. but would she think i made that up cause i feel sorry for her.. i don't knoW!! stupid mouth! why did u ask her that?!??! "

view of where i get off the tram.

fact is, she's all alone.

this experience made me realise something.. i think i'll have to say that my biggest fear is ending up living alone when i'm her age. when i'm at my weakest. the time when i should enjoy myself after all those long years of hardwork.

To have a lover lost long before my time, to not have any children and grandchildren, no one who cares for you, having no one to talk to but a stranger beside me waiting for the tram, train, bus, whatever.. to have nothing in life to look forward to but ur "deadline".. living life only because u can't die... yet.

(i'm not saying she is like that. she might not be, for all i know.)

but the feeling i get when she said that..

i don't want to be alone. i don't want to end up alone.

that indeed is my biggest fear in life.

TOUCH WOOOOD AND CROSS FINGERSS!!!!!!

Hypocrisy & Updates.

2007-04-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

what defines hypocrisy?

A behaviour in which someone pretends to have beliefs, principles, or feelings that they do not have. in a simpler way, people who say one thing and do another.

Why are people so full of hypocrisy? Let me try to list the reasons down.

1. Scared of Rejection.

2. To Avoid Arguments.

3. To Not Offend People.

4. Just for the Fun of It.

5. To Solve Issues.

I could only list these few reasons and if any of u have more to share, pls let me know.

I think hypocrisy happens a lot especially when one goes through teenage life and young adulthood. Especially when one's still not secure bout oneself. Like they do or follow or say what others do or say cause they think it's "in" and they will be accepted into the "gang", not knowing if it's really them. But then again, teenagers aren't just the ones using them. Even adults use it every day.

Hypocrisy also happens when people see it as an easy way out and use it so frequently to get their way. Basically, just lie. Yeah? Everyone don't like hypocrits. They say one thing, think the other, to make that person feel happy or to run away frm some trouble that might come from telling the truth.

Here's a thought :

Nobody likes people who lie to them but then, everybody lies.

To me,

i feel that it's alright to be hypocrits when telling the truth really wouldn't benefit anyone. and i mean ANYONE. Like telling someone she doesn't look good right before they go out and they're late! (after they've spent 2 hours deciding what to wear and when she's done, ask if she looks good.) Takkan i say No? Should i say,"I don't like that dress."? It'll only make her feel less confident abt herself for the rest of the day and me looking like a mean mean friend.

Hmm, or say, u just met this friend in class and gotten a little close. say, after 3 or 4 meetings, what would you say if he/she asks : Do i look like i'm some country girl? or Did i give u a good impression when we first met? Did u think i look ugly?

I know. Who asks those questions?? But some people do.

What would you say? how to tell someone something without offending them?

But to not say something so that u won't sound mean but will help the situation if u say it....

For example, Tom and Jerry are good friends. They are invited to a party by their close friend, Snoop. And, Halfway through, Tom felt bored and wants to go back. He didn't want to say anything but just asked Jerry to say something. When he did, and Snoop persuaded them to stay a little longer, Tom pretended nothing happened and didn't back Jerry up whatsoever. I'd be pissed if i were Jerry.

Or say, another example, Tom wanted to go back so much. He knew Jerry had something to do next morning and he used that as an excuse! like, " oh, i wish we could stay longer but Jerry has a busy morning ahead. So, i'm sorry.." and made it sound like everything's Jerry's fault! well, it's really fine if Jerry had said it or if Tom's had Jerry's consent that he's actually fine with Tom saying it.

The solution to this, is, don't blame anyone. If you truly want to go back, just say, "hey, i'm a lil tired and i have something to do tomorrow. Thanks for such a lovely evening!! :)" (even if u don't and if it wasn't!) This kind of hypocrisy, to me, is accepted. Lie the best way u can to make the best outcome of the situation, not to make anyone sound or look bad.

Maybe all i'm trying to say is that everyone looks at hypocrisy as a bad thing. I think with the right amount, it's actually not that bad. It actually helps. But, use it for the right reasons. :)

~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, the couple of weeks have been interesting. There're times when i'm really busy. Times when i'm really Lazy. Times when i'm really like a pig (eat eat eat, sleep sleep sleep). Times when i get a lil depressed and guilty. Times when i really have lots of fun and feed my once-in-a-blue-moon appetite for some sweet delicacies, alcohol and music and dancefloor. :)

It's all good.

The pictures down there are all taken in Clayton when Loris and I decided to visit an old friend's house.

Meeeee-sheelll..

hehe.. It was a friday and we ate at this Korean restaurant. Nice food. I was damn hungry when i got to that restaurant. was waiting and waiting.. then to pass time, mich and i decided to kiss. Yes, you heard me, KISS! This picture actually looked really good. And note the expressions on the guys' faces.

Food arrived and i just stuffed my mouth with food food food. and water water water. When we're done, we walked to Coles and there, i start to feel really "kap"! i needed to release!! and no friggin toilet open at that time! arrrrgh, walked and walked and walked along shops on the way back to the house.

michelle and her aaron.

saw a small casino around the corner and ran straight in to relieve myself!! hehe.. Inside, was, freaky. Middle-aged man and old women smoking and getting high talking and laughing.. don't know if they were flirting.. they look tipsy. it just looked a lil wrong. luckily ian was there.

thanks ian! He's a gentlemaN! always is.

Oh i love pohyee's buttt! hehe.

Finally got back to the house and a lil tired.

Waited.

Waitedd.

Waiteddd.

Don't know what we were waiting for. People were cleaning, were studying(she had test, so understandable), talking on the phone..

Then, yay, Pohyee came and started serving us drinks! Ain't she a darling? after a while mich and her AARON came and join us too. We drank, we talked, we (not i) cried, we kissed, we had fun. basically everything there is in a drinking session. :) Thanks for having us there, mich, poh, and wengkiN!

2 weekends later, we had a clubbing session. I love my make up. :) i had so much fun! i really enjoy getting high and dancing! i love dancing. really really. Here're some pics.

In my room. No photoshop here. Just make up. :)

Loris, Fannie, and Yeelyn. (Fannie's first clubbing experience.)

What we were wearing.

at the club - Lavish.

lilian was there too. She dances great!

Oh, and may i just brag a lil here. I'm so proud of myself. i love just drinking and getting high to one stage and not do anything too stupid to get embarrased over the next day when i wake up but instead, a lil tipsy, have lots of fun, move a lot and laugh a lot!! No puking, No passing out, No fighting and No VANDALISING! ;)

We had a lot of fun, then decided to get home. Before that stopped by erge's apartment. (near Lavish) It was 4am. He was woken up by us! so kesian. and He was soooo nice! i wanted fries. and he actually went out of the house to a fast food restaurant and got them for me! he's the best brother ever!! hehe. love love love you, erge!!

some random pics here : at choco lounge, and sushi. lots of sushi. :)

Well, that's it for now! See ya soon!

hey, bie, i love ya! i was really having fun! Muaksss!

and missing those back home!!

Love this song.

2007-04-26T11:44:00.001+08:00

i know i haven't been uploading. Been busy. Here's a song i came across and i really love it. gosh! click on the link above to listen. it's really good.

Loving Me For Me by Christina Aguilera.

People ask if Im in love with you
Because Im sitting here with your picture
And smiling to myself
Im kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
My heart speaks before my mind thinks through
And I blush as I say yes

What a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
And Im feeling weak and I cant speak
Never thought Id give in so willingly to a human being
With abilities to set me free
Free, make me be me
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit its a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin me
Is that youre loving me for me
Is that youre loving me for me

People ask why Im in love with you
Well, let me start by saying
You got my heart by just being who you are
And what we got is between me and you
It doesnt matter about the money I make
Or what I do, or that Im a, huh, a star

Unconditionally youre there for me
Undeniably you inspire me, spiritually, so sweet
This is meaningful, is incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
The way I feel, so sweet
Makes me want to say

Your lips, your love, your smile, your kiss
I must admit its a part of me
You please me, complete me, believe me
Like a melody
Your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
We were meant to be
But the best quality thats hookin me
Is that youre loving me for me
Is that youre loving me for me

Its so amazing how something so sweet
Has come and rearranged my life
Ive been kissed by destiny
Oh, heaven came and saved me
An angel was placed at my feet
This isnt ordinary, hes loving me for me

Stripped of all make up, no need for fancy clothes
No cover ups, push ups
With him, I dont have to put on a show
He loves every freckle, every curve, every inch of my skin
Fulfilling me entirely, taking all of me in
Hes real,hes honest, hes loving me for me
Yeah

What have become of me? ........... & Easter Holiday.

2007-04-10T14:21:00.000+08:00

I need to find myself. I need some peace and quiet.

Who am I?

one minute i was so confident of myself. and the other?

i was disappointed of what i've become. Not original. Not Myself. How did i bring myself to this stage? I thought i was doing myself a favour. taking after what i admire over others. what's good about them, i take. i follow only la.

After a while, i notice, for what?

am i such a bad judge of good/bad behaviour that i can't tell? What have i been following all this while? Who am I? Is this what i really want for myself? Someone who takes after others? I know i don't entirely. Just this one aspect of my life, i did.

i always tell others, be whatever u want to be as long as u think it's right for u. Do i do that? or did i do what they think is right? i don't know. i know i was being me. but now, i'm really doubting myself. What's happeninG????

People Change. They all do. You know that and i know that. Reality hurts, and I just never realized that truth till it hit me on the head leaving a big bump. A bump i'll never forget and never want to get again. When they do change that one big quality in them which i thought was so admirable and have come to practice, i started questioning myself. Why do i feel like changing too? But didn't it work?Didn't it? Why did they change their perception/opinion of which they stood their ground so hard for once upon a time in their life? Is it not working for them? I feel like a big fool now.

Why do i bring myself to worry over other's troubles and problems when really it should be mine i should worry about? Why should i look at how others deal with their problems when i should really focus more on how i can deal with them? To me, i feel that people who follow others have not found enough strength in them to speak up. Not confident enough to be the first to say "No", or "Yes". They taught me how. They showed me how. They're backing out now? It's not their fault.

I've always been happy with myself. especially since i came back to Aus, enjoying life and doing what i think is right. Yet, at the drop of the hat.. things went the other way round.

~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

I got so agitated and irritated as well when people frequently change their thoughts and opinions. Random, indecisive, so unexpected. If that's how u choose to be, i'd rather u just keep them to yourself. All you do is confuse me further. Words which u spoke once which got through to me, which once meant something to me, doesn't mean anything at all now. You did guide me to become a better person, but the foundation of that turn into rubble when u turn back on ur words, on ur ways.. It's not your fault, it's mine.

Now, i feel : We must be ourselves. We mustn't follow others. We mustn't get influenced. I'm not saying i'm not myself. But do not follow others unless u're certain that's the right step for u. Otherwise, the only fool who suffers would be you..

Be proud of who u are.

Do Not Hide Behind Others.

Guess the only one person i truly admire now on life is my Mother.
Friends change. Lovers change. Only Family Remains.

~~~~~~~~

Anyways, lately been exploring Bars around Melbourne. Been to 3. One experience of which i do not wish to recall ever again, scary lar.. don't blame me k... There was also another dinner at Shoya again. Apparently, Lutfi's new favourite place. It was a farewell dinner for Kio, Jin's highschool friend who's returning to Korea for good. It's kinda funny, as it was My first and Last time meeting him. :) Sorry for being late!

Before that, we went to play badminton at MSAC. also a good opportunity for me to practice before playing with the RMIT Badminton club members the next few days. God, my thighs were aching the next few days! Lutfi was making me run here and there. He apologised later. for doing it on purpose. -_- Thanks Michelle for inspiring me to play sports again! hehe.. and thanks Willie for being a great and friendly VP! U've earned urself a new member! haha.

you know, with this group of friends, i truly feel like i'm amongst business associates or managers (judging by their way of clothing. don't u think?) they're always dressed in blacK!!! if not always, most of the time then! Peer pressure! hehe. and omg, Jin can look so scary if he wants to.. (shivers down my spine..)

We went back to Lutfi's place and played some PS2 games. They're such a bunch of goody-two-shoes. Being with them never makes me feel quilty. Unless of course, expensive dinnerS! ;) oh yeah, i learnt to play soccer! but i still suck. wuwu..

now, to Bars. First one i went to is Charlie's Bar on Hardware Lane.

It's very interesting, this lane. All the italian/western restaurants are lined up on this street and there're tables outdoors. The jazz music played live by musicians along the street clash also with live bands in the restaurants itself. the cool winds of April in Melbourne.. The candles lit on the tables.. with canvases above to block out rain if any.. The environment felt so west!

We did not actually plan to go to Bars. But this waiter who's restaurant which has a bar downstairs says tht there'll be free champagne for another 15 minutes in the bar and suggested us to go there first before having our dinner. we thought, hey, Free champagne! hehe.. let's! there was just me, Fannie and Jin. Lutfi was in Sydney.

This couple never fail to make pictures look any less romantic. grrr! You can see how the setting of the bar is in the pictures. Very Red?

By the way, i saw my tutor there as i was walking out of the toilet. He didn't see me, so, there won't be awkwardness. :) and as i was looking at my tutor, i accidentally bumped into an Aussie, i think around mid-thirties. I apologised and he said this ," Oh, u can trip on me anytime! (handing me his hand to let me up.)" i went, "omggggggg.. -_-" ..

The other bar i went to a few days after that was with Loris, Goh, Jureen and Benjy. This one's called Golden Monkey Bar. This one's more oriental. It's something different from other places.

It was here where i learnt my current favourite drink. Mohito. ( i think that's how it's spelt) i love it! a random shot of Goh downthere. XD

i came here a few days later with my arch foundation girl classmates. Arlene, Martha, Fannie and I. a Girl's night out.

The last bar, i don't really know its name. All i know is that it's located at the back of the cafe beside RMIT building No 8. haha.. A dodgy place really.. Horrible Music.. But all's good.. i guess. Thanks for having me and fannie there, How Keat. Quite an unforgettable Experience. ;)

hmmm, that's how i spent most of my Easter Holiday. see ya sooN!

Anyways, i miss My Boyfriend.

Remember, u are the key to my heart..

hehehe..

Interesting Fact : Rich people have it easy. Donald Trump can make money by just talking. How? He has his own ringtones. and they're just voice clips of him, T-A-L-K-I-N-G!! .. damn. saw it on tv today. i can't believe it.

and ouh yeah, my camera's broken at the moment. so u might expect less pictures in my next few posts.

see ya then!

Melbourne. Life.

2007-03-30T09:50:00.000+08:00

haih.. finally..

i get it all done. I'm not behind in my blog anymore!! ok, since my arrival in Melbourne, i have to say, life has been real busy! the catching up with friends (though not a lot, i can add), the assignments piling and stacking unlike anything i've seen before in my previous sems, the settling in, .. the less frequent late night chats with melvin but still do none the less, damnnnnn.. time flies! with the blink of an eye, one month passed! and i've never been happier in life!

just like last sem, where i overslept for the class timetabling system online, i once again, fail to be in classes with my friends!!.. u know, it's so annoying when in australia time, it's 8 am and in malaysian time, it's 5am?!?? yeah. but at least i have design with lutfi. hehe, and half the class's asian! so i feel more friendly and confident. and people, so far, i've only skipped 2 classes! that's good compared to how i was before. hehe. but i know it's nth to be proud of, but i'm gonna avoid tht whenever possible. unless there's a debate. (i hate talking in public!)

So, the highlights of the month..

there was the Moomba Festival they have every year. fireworks, carvinal. u name it. i arrived like when the fireworks was going off halfway. had this history model to build. grrr. Benjy, Loris and his friends were already there. i watched it alone.... then, we grouped up and sat this ride called Twist or I forgot what.. the best 7 dollar ride i've ever taken. and worth it too. it spins like 360 degrees and rotates as well, don't know how to explain, very complicated. i shouted damn loud! seeing Benjy's face like he's constipated made me laugh and shout until sesak nafas man.. Loris wanted to win a softtoy. haha, ended up with a big fluffy dice and a child bracelet. better than nth, i guess!

Then Lutfi got Britney.. XD a sweeet ride. we were all quite excited bout it. went all over the place. yeeehawww! Port Melbourne, Docklands..

The sun was just setting when we got there. Fast fast take picturesss! then there was the lovely couple.
Aiya, i forgot the name of that restaurant. but it was quite good. Fannie and I shared a Fish and Chips. a bit the ex. Lutfi had some lobster risotto and Jin had a steak. ... fooood..
lutfi and i. hehe.

those white structures look like mushroomss!

nth to do here. so edit edit.

2 weeks passed with lots of assignments and voila, it was Lutfi's birthday.

Let me tell u the story of his birthday. It was on a Thursday night and on Thursday nights, we have class from 6-9pm. Fan and Jin had the earlier class, so, they decided to do something. Plan was to have it at this restaurant, Shoya, and it was just gonna be me and Lutfi. Then they bought the cake, the works. i cut short the story la har, Lutfi came, he was surprised Jin and Fan were there, sat down, ordered food, Lutfi asked if there were cakes available in the restaurant. The damn waiter say, but u had the cake that u ask us to keep for u? then jin look at fannie, i look at jin, fannie look at me.. lutfi looked at us. it was supposed to be a secret!!! grrrr.. anyways, the cake came out.. and haha, lutfi was so cute! acting like a small boy and all. check it out.

sashimi.. yumm ...

aliaa and mel was there too.

Hmm, then other stuff include shopping at DFO (Direct Factory Outlet..), Ferarri Exhibition in Crown with Martha and Er Ge... Dinner with Ian for his Belated Birthday. hehe...

That night, we walked around, looked for somewhere to go.. nth. nowhere. went to this Monkey bar or something like that, quite nice. Oriental and modern theme.. but it was full.. came out, walked walked walked, then saw this interesting manuquin. haha!

Well, i think that's it! Now, u won't see that many pictures in my blog anymore. i've used them all! Next time i blog, it'd be all current. u know something, i love my life!! and i hope this is not the end of it!

Just remember Yeelyn,

No Procrastination, No Skipping Sleep, No Skipping Class, and most importantly, No Skipping Meals! hahaha.. i'm such a Tong Sampah.. i need to exercise lar. anyone?? call me out for badminton or something..

see ya soon! ciao!!!

and happy Belated Birthday, Harvey!!!

Valentine's Day, CNY, Genting.

2007-03-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

Whoever said that Valentine's Day's a ripoff?? just don't go to fancy restaurants ... la! (if u're hard up for money) i don't wanna brag abt this but melvin did such a great job and i really want his efforts realized. even HE wants his efforts realized. :)

On that special day, (last minute again, i was busy making some craft stuff for bie. rushing again. it felt like assignments again. only this time, the tutor would be really disappointed if i didn't give my 110%.) we were supposed to meet in the evening, around 6. he would come get me. which he did.

and guess what, i got into the car, all dressed up and made up (in case he was bringing me to this fancy restaurant, hehe. i don't know what the surprise is marrr!), and he wanted me to either close my eyes all the way, or blindfold me with this really ugly, old rag that he has in his house. "it's the only thing closes to a blindfold-clothy-thing," he says. of course i close my bloody eyes. :)

oh and he gave me a bouquet of flowersss.. red roses..

a long trip after that, i was being annoying, i kept asking," so is it someone's house? is it somewhere nice? am i dressed up according to the right code?? where are we eating?? it's someone's house is it?? who's?? jon's?? june's?? wendi's????" .. i couldn't help it.. shooting questions all the way and he kept saying, no. No. No.. WAIT... you wait ok? . i didn't care.. just kept talking. too excited.

and yeah.. i was right.. it was Wendi's. No wonder he wanted to blindfold me. i've been there once. but i don't think it makes much of a difference since i don't remember roads and places anyway. i'd get lost in a milisecond. the only place i can go by heart is from my old house to my new house. cause i had to drive everytime we move something frm the house.

anyway, enough of the nonsense.. i came into the house right, and i saw what i saw.. and i was touched.. i looked at him, he looked at me (smiling frm ear to ear).. Not the most fantastic sight, but i know the effort he put in.. was just great.

there were petals sprinkled onto the floor, hearts hanging from the ceiling (on each heart, there's a sweet message for me), candles literally everywhere (cept the kitchen, rooms, toilets..).. that apartment felt so hot when we came in. so hot. it didn't look so nice at first cause there were daylight, but towards the end of the day, it looked much more romantic.

After all the ooohs and aaaahs, we proceeded to the dinner table. melvin prepared dinner all by himself. It was grilled fish with cream sauce and some mash potatoes with gravy and some coleslaw.

looks can be deceiving. :)

we had dinner face to face and enjoyed every last crumb and drop of it. after eating and cleaning up the dishes, we proceeded to the couch and started exchanging our gifts for one another. Here they are. Tat for tit. Tit for tat.

we loved our gifts. i love that bag and he loved his watch. he was so excited that we had to rush to midvalley to get it resized to fit his wrist. damn. haha.. but before that..

we cuddled and started talking just abt anything in the world and laughed and had the best time of our life. then he so excited want to get that watch fixed.. grrr.. could have spent more quality time together. and longer too! took some photos before blowingthem out...

It was 9pm at night in MidValley on Valentine's Day. The jam was horrible, we had to have valet parking. 10 buckS! but guess it was worth it given the situation. could feel bie's heart thumping so hard it hurts.. hehe.. got the watch resized. went back to my house. my dad was outside at the side of the house, admiring the new lightings set up at the pool. so proud. came up to me without noticing the flowers i held in my hand, asking me for opinions. aha, he's cute in that sense. Blur. like father like daughter. after a while, he went like, wah, flower.. like it so much till dont want to let go ar?? haha.. i went -_-" .. Night ended with bie going back.

oh yeah,

especially thanks to wendi for lending her apartment for melvin! without u, there'd be no special Valentines Day for me! Thanks!!

So, that was that. Shall i continue with Chinese New Year picturess??

This chinese new year was all abt dressing up and make up and family and food for me. :)

i had most fun with my mother, my cousins.. sang alot with my mother too. i actually mingled with her friends and didn't feel so awkward now. i feel more matured than before and i hope i can be even more than now. it's nice having the whole family together under one roof. last time it was just me and er ge, or me and family without er ge, or erge and family without me. yay! i sure do miss gor gor too. hehe. i gotta admit, spending time with my mother when she was cooking, when she needed groceries.. i really appreciate these times. will never forget it. i would always drive, and she would always talk with me. awwww.. bout ups, downs, mediums.. hehe..

On the morning of Chinese New Year, all the children needed to sing a song in the karaoke system before actually receiving angpaus. damn stress woi. but it's all good, we laughed we ate we sang .. although after a while i was bored.. my other cousins, peiling, peiqing..

my younger brother, played the piano instead of singing.

i loved it. the only thing i really hated was my other uncles and aunties keep talking in the background. i got so pissed. Some respect la, people! call people to perform but never give attention when they do. i would love to tell them shut up if they weren't my elder relatives and that it was rude. how would u like me to talk really loudly with my cousins when you're singing? hmmm?? well, this is my father's side.

i really love this picture of my brother and mom.

and here's my mother's side. i caught up with yannee. she taught me make up and i taught her poker. not bad huh?? she's also a blogger. she's Yannee in my list of bloggers. check her out. :) here are some photos. i feel that han wei, yannee's bro is all grown up and getting really charming. everyone's growing up. everything's so different now. not a small girl anymore.. wuwu.. we're really big on cam whoring. there're more where this came from, but i'm running out of time. hehe. (note the amount of people in each photo.)

i also had my bestarian friends over to my new house for bai nian.

laurence, wengkeong, melvin, evonne, tammy, suyen, meiwen, pooikwan, saukuan, mienyee, KC, Charlie, Yen Yau, Jia Hau, Kae Jun,

Thank You for Coming!!!

we sang, we swam, we relaxed, we played.. thanks guys! happy belated chinese new year! can't wait for the next one! these photos below are creditted to Evonne. Thanks for the great photos!

oh, and some pics on the Genting Trip (also for Poh Yee's Farewell). My first trip with my boyfriend, melvin. (and actually, my first trip without my family. :) ) i learnt to play poker. and been hooked eversince. and there was alcohol. i was happy.

Melvin having tequila shot.

poh yee and melvin.

Melvin's Friends.

One of the moments i loved there was the next morning when we woke up.. we made some maggie noodle cup and went to the balcony to eat and talk on a bench. it was another one of my favourite chats with melvin. it was great.

well, that's pretty much everything that i did back in Malaysia. Can't wait for the next one. And hopefully, this time, we girls can have a trip of our own!

See ya next time! ciao!

Next blog would be on Arrival upon Melbourne and everything till now. :)

Hey guys, i'm back!!! updates on February.

2007-03-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

In the month of February 2007, many delightful and meaningful events have occured. There was Tammy and Wengkin's birthday and farewell celebration, Valentine's day, and Chinese New Year.. and last but not least, the departure of dearest Me to Melbourne, Australia once again..

everyone who visits this blog regularly, thank you, and i apologise for the very much delayed update. I have just gotten my new internet connection as i have moved to a new house in the suburbs, 20 minutes tram ride from the city(where my uni is). i feel much more comfortable in this house. spacious. the only setback being that it is much further than where i used to stay.

anyways, i'll just talk abt what happened over the month of february in Malaysia as they were great events and i would love to show the pics. (don't wanna waste them by just storing them in my laptop, right?)

The first event was the joint party of Tammy and Wengkin's birthday party and also Wengkin's farewell to Melbourne. It was held at RedBox in the Curve. Everyone had fun there. There were drinks, buffet dinner, karaoke sessions and just plenty of mucking around. hehe, here are some photos.

They look happy don't they?

This party was also a great opportunity for me to catch up with bestarians. A lot of them were there. just like old times. :) me and the guys below.

tammy tammy.. fun girl she is..

highlights of the day?

1. pooikwan, mienyee and saukuan can kick ass in singing!

2. Choonfei hogged the microphone most of the time. (which is alright cause he can melt hearts with his voice.. goddamn it!!)

3. feisty 7, (meiwen and loris couldn't come under unfortunate circumstanceS) were mucking around, singing togehter, camwhoring, playing about. it was fuN! i miss meiwen and loris though.. miss u, miss u, miss u..

4. couldn't remember what else. it's been so long! sure wish i actually uploaded these last time.

5. Oh, that's right! Melvin kissed Wengkin.

6. and i kissed michelle. on the lips! and then out of spontanialty (don't know how to spell) we frenched. crazy right?? here's a photo which i think looked really mystical or sth. i like it.

7. and i love melvin. RANDOM, but i don't care! hehe.

Well, that's the thing. then there was my brother's birthday as well. Forgive me if my blog entry's too graphic. i just love photos! Erge and his 21st birthday celebration in our own home. his friends came along and tammy and my melvin were my guests.

we had a great feast. prepared by my mother, some spinach rice, some pastas.. delicious.. choon fei, choon leong, chee hong.. many others came. same old same old. just like in melbourne. we were kinda lost cause they speak cantonese soooo fast larrr!! so we just went about our own business in another room. hehe...

as u can see, crazy stuff caught on camera. i love cameras.. hehe..

kungfu hustle!!

we sang too.. going crazy. i feel like a rockstar. love her camera. after some time, my brother came in to join us after his friends went home. (don't get surprise, they would go back very late, just that in our home, there's the golden rule : NO DRINKING NO MATTER HOW OLD U ARE. unless you get married. ) so we don't. in the house. ;)

the emo-nesss.. haha..

anyways, i think i'll update more another time. u've had enough to absorb, haven't u?? hehe..

i'll just talk abit about now. damn geram abt sth and would like to share with u guys. these days, i've been damn busy with work and assignments. 5 days in a row, i was just working, eating, working, eating, working, eating, working, sleeping. thankgod for my metabolism, i can rest a bit while eating. and yesterday, we were supposed to hand in our history presentation and model. we were making a traditional Indonesian house belonging to the Batak Toba tribe. 2 whole days spent just on that model with me and my groupmates. hard work and great effort. what do you know, our tutor told us that we actually made the model of the wrong house. we made a model of the rice shack (a place to store rice, a smaller version of the real house). .............. i went............ ARH!H!!!! and it was so embarrasing! and pissing off! i gotta be more careful the next time. i seriously wonder what marks i'll be getting from that exercise. wuwu.. it was a really nice model though.. argh! i'll show it when i get my hands on the pictures.

until next time! Ciao!!! (dont worry, there's more to come!! muahahaa..)

- i'll be talking abt valentines day and CNY next time.

Useless Me.

2007-02-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

i woke up today and the first thing i saw on my phone was an "I hate you.". From one of the people i love most. great way to start my day yeah??

looking back at this holiday, i wonder if i have been completely useless?? have i always been selfish lately? for my parents, for my family, for my friends and also fr my bie?

what have i done wrong?? sometimes i wish that i really don't know.

but i do.

i'm selfish and lazy. i told u i would do it but i didn't.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry!

so many things to do, yet i'm here, blogging, looking at old photos. been out the whole day, being my mther's driver, buying fruits, and fetching my brther. not that i'm cmplaining. i have fun spending time with my mther. she seems more cheerful too.

when i'm home, i know i need to pack. but do i?

been pushing this packingthing a few weeks already. when am i gonna finish it? i knw i started it.

grrrrr..!

this is the only thing i can think of updating at the moment, mich...

gnna g back soon to melbourne.. i don't want to!! i really dn't want tO!!!! so little time!

:( see ya sooN!

ps i knw i need to get a life, but just feel like letting out what what i'm really feeeling. been sighing the whole day..

We Need Sisters.

2007-01-29T00:21:00.000+08:00

i received this email and i think it is really meaningful. i don't know who the real author was so i didn't put any name down here.

To all;
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised,

swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. "Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!' But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

This says it all :

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they 're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

but.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.

ps : my mother forwarded this to me. So, it must be right.

i never had any sisters in my life. so, all the girls out there are really sisters to me. love you all!

Me Working at Draften.

2007-01-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

Just spent the whole day working today at Draften Design Management as a receptionist for a few weeks. it is tiring. Woke up at 7.30am and still was late for work. Typical. 3 jams to go true.

My Counter.

Answering calls, transfering calls, passing/receiving messages, receiving/ sorting mails, answers, greets, attends to people who come into the office... it's easy to do them one at a time but when you are trying to transfer a call to the other line, other calls start coming in (two phones at the counter), some uncle standing at the counter asks for this certain employee while someone else's at the door buzzing u to let them in (door's locked unless u press this button), all starts coming down when u're trying to send the daily report in an SMS to the big managers and boss.. either that, or nothing happens at all and you're bored as hell, maybe just an occasional phone call.

actually, i'm not complaining as much. It was much harder when i first started last Wednesday. The current Receptionist was coincidently on leave that day and i was pretty much on my own. After working half a week, i had Convinced Melvin to work with me and he started off as an M&E Trainee today. he complained it was wicked Boring. Didn't do much, the person incharge of him asked him to read some engineering stuff.. or whatever that it called (pardon my term) and that was all he did all day. Poor baby..

Guai Zhai..

We finished work at 5.40pm and went to have dinner before going home. Feeling so bloody tired. He did too. I don't know it was out of lack of sleep, or yawning out of boredom. I think the latter. hehe.

Never let go..

Last Friday night, it felt as though i was really one of those working people who really have to ease off the tension and stress and go for a night out. i did it with my girlfriends at Hartamas Sq right after work. Didn't change or anything. It was really just my second time being there. The first was the first time i saw Melvin AFTER we got together. Haha, i can still remember him coming towards me with all my friends sitting around a table after our Malam Anugerah event in 2005. It was a dark, thin shadow figure and he was wearing a cap. He patted on my head, i held my breath and gave out that awkward look i always do (trying to change that!! be natural!!!) and everyone went, "awwwww...." hehe.. With him was Joshua and Jon, i think..

Me and Suyen on the way to Mich's house.

All four of Us.

Anyways, we shisha-ed and talked and laughed and ate and drank!! Meiwen was trying to blow smoke out her ears and i was trying to blow out smoke rings. it was really funny. We laughed at almost anything. Su Yen laughed only at really funny stuff and mich, hmmm, got a bit. :) i actually got high from Shisha. On the way to the toilet i couldn't balance much and meiwen was holding my hand. i love her smoooth smoooth handss.. as u can see from the pics, i was wearing this shirt and i was wondering if people thought we were lessssss.. haha.

MeiWen looks so Cute when she tried to do that!! XD

Me and MeiWen.

Michelle. Smokey-smokey??

Candid.

melvin joined in halfway cause he was fetching me back. thanks biee! Anyways, in the middle of everything, i took out a flask of warm water out to drink. Everyone was looking at me, like.. "what the..????" i went -_-"........ "Mama said warm water's good for health........." Everyone went berserk... but it is true. Warm water is really better for your body than cold water. Better for your uterus and ovaries and women, especially. So Don't Laugh.

Note MeiWen's Espression..

Melvin and his shisha-obsessed face.

Me Scaring him off, agaiN?

Lost???

I loved that, gals, let's do it agaiN!! with all the girls this time kay?? muaksss!

That's all for now! See ya!

First Few Weeks of 2007.

2007-01-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

sorry guys, Haven't updated in a while. let's see, what's been happening since new years..?

1) Sang karaoke for courtesy in front of my mom, dad and their friends. My heart went like beating so hard and some of my voice got stuck at my throat. After a while, I actually enjoyed it. Not only do you get addicted to it, you also get lots of compliments pouring out though deep down, we know they're just saying that to give face. But it won't hurt to just believe them!! ;)

2) Went to June's Birthday Party. Saw Michelle there. Haven't seen her for a while. Really caught up. Finally wore that top she really liked from Australia. And damn, they really like Poker. Thanks for having me there, June!

there she is, camwhoring with my camera... tsktsk.. (cept that first one there.) ;)

michelle and me.. she's my loverrrrRRR..

the "poker table".

bie and i.

birthday girl - June.

3) Went Shopping with bie!! Spent a whole lot lot lot of money. hehe. Loved it. Though still not enough to fill up that void of wanting more. more. more. shopping anyone??

4) Watched "Night In The Museum". A really good and funny show. Please watch it. Please!!

5) Caught up with Beeli in her house. Talked about love, life, religion, .. not enough time to talk though.. went back early. Missed ya beeli!

Beeli and i.

6) Went to Akon's Concert in Ruums in KL. Thanks to Melvin whose Friend June who got free tickets from another friend. Thank you so so much! It was so packed there wasn't enough room to move about! There was Jon, June, melvin and i. Melvin and i just wanted to go to the entrance to meet his sis, and seriously, we couldn't move! and one young man was getting grumpy cause everyone kept pushing and he was saying loudly, "there's no space to move!" and that's even before it started. Yeah, then the songs played, Benny D came out, then Akon. The performance was not bad, really. it was great. there was this one part where they had a few girls and guys up to dance. then when the guys danced really badly, Akon said he and his friend Benny are gonna show us how it's done. Man, they grabbed hold of two girls. Once each, and started carrying them and humping them like how people would have sex standing up. we were shocked. some were laughing. one of the girl looked "violated" and she didn't seem fine. Yeah that seemed like the highlight of the evening. great lightings, great sound system.. Didn't bring my camera in. Should have though. went to a mamak place to drink and shisha before we went back. i was a lil dizzy for a while. mom sure was mad...

(please excuse all the camwhoring.. -_-" )

but all in all, i had a wonderful night, so

THANK YOU JUNEEE!!

5) The next day, i was caught by a policeman for running the red light. i was scared.. the guy was pointing at me and signalling me to pull over.. and i had my IC and driving license in my other bag for yesterday's event. i forgot all about it! my heart was beating really fast. Luckily my mom was beside me. She knew exactly what to do. I guess all of u do. i wind down my window, and he asked for my licence. we did what we did and we're free to go. Sometimes i am dissapointed with my country. but oh well, guess i'm not in a position to complain since i'm doing the exact same thing. yeah?

Me in my Room.

6) So now, i'm here. Blogging. Checking out my photos. i love make up. don't u? :)

By right, i should go to the office tomorrow. see how it goes. Let's hope i do. :) and this last picture cracks me up. i don't like melvin. ;p

why won't u kiss me?!?!?!

see ya!!

Happy New Year 2007!

2007-01-01T19:24:00.000+08:00

before i start, let me just say that this is a really long post. and all the photos posted here were taken on New Year's Eve. Sorry i didn't take much with the rest of you, i forgot my goddamn memory cards!! so, internal memory only allow like 10,15. argh.

(Listening to "Speed Of Sound" by Coldplay.)

To everyone i know, i love, i miss and the ones i just met,

happy new year 2007!

Wish u all the best in everything u do.

to close up my year 2006,

i'd like to say, this year, not the best i ever had. I went through a lot and i learnt that living in a strange place could feel really bitter. surprised that i didn't feel that last year when i first came to Melbourne, Australia.

dinner at Paddington House of Pancake at the Curve.

i have to say, there's a great deal in me which i thought have matured. from last year, i thought i have grown up. but deep down, now i realised, how selfish i have been and how i have not grown. inside, i'm still one who wants to be pampered, cares only about myself, cares only about wanting what i want and not lifting a finger for others who care most for me, ones who matter to me the moment i was born and definitely till the moment i draw my last breath. especially, back here, in Malaysia, my home. back down under, i would always tell myself, "when i get back, i'd make up for lost time with my mother, my father, my brother, especially my mother, not forgetting bie as well." but when i get back, i care more about going out with friends and my bie.

cheese sausage with pancake stacks and hashbrown.

it truly hit me when i was telling my mother that i was going out yesterday in the evening. she was busy preparing for the party my dad hosted in the house for the big New Year's Eve occasion. she looked so.. .. (i don't know how to describe it, disappointed? sad? speechless? lost?) . i felt humiliated and disgusted with myself that i have once again disappointed her as her daughter. Bie was already waiting outside my house. thank god her sisters were all there to help her out.

Grilled lamb with pancakes and mash potatoes.

it's not that i have not spent time at all with her and it's not that i go out all the time. it's just that when i'm at home, i'd always sleep till late afternoon that my mom has already done all her chores of the day. and the rest of the day is reserved for cooking for the workers and guests who have come to work/visit the new house. Yes, i have moved to a land far far away from where i used to stay. The Mines. lots of work that's needed to be done. i would help her in the evening. just to cook. and only for a while. being so undecisive. i'd always blame melvin for bringing me out when it should be myself to blame. i'm so sorry bie for what happened yesterday. you have been really understanding and if u'd have your way, u'd want to see me everyday. but u were careful enough to not take up all my time and thought for me and my family and friends. u were considerate and because of me, u had to suffer for it. i'm sorry.

blurred picture of Melvin's friends (ChuiMun, PohYee and Jon.)

"who call me to not help out as much as i can when i have the chance but regret the time and moments i didn't when i'm out?? How am i to enjoy life like that?" that's one new year's resolution i'm making.

Never do something that's doubtful to you.
Never do something halfway.
Take the chance and do the right thing at the right time.
When you are doing something, make sure u enjoy it/do it to the fullest.

acting cool.

to sum up my year:
The first half of the year was great, the first semester, i had loads of encouragement and love from my tutors, my family, my friends. i met lots of new friends and i had fun. the second semester though, i had to endure the unfamiliarity of having to be in a class full of people not of my nation and race. i was put in a class where i was lost, confused, and a recluse.

however, people i stay close with gave me all the encouragements i needed. my roomies, loris and michelle. There's also one far far away, my bie. plus a few friends i would call up occasionally for help and some release of stress. surely they'd hear me complain about absolutely anything in the world. then one pointed out saying, it's like "everything is everyone else's fault." that hit me and i learnt my big mistake and will take life differently. Life is never good enough if u keep complaining. if you don't do something about it, who would? it's your life. i want to be happy. i want to live life to the fullest, with no regrets. i should make the most of my time. i should enjoy the time i have, at the place i'm at. No matter who i'm spending it with.

Results these year were not as great as before. but it's still beats failing. hehe. guess it could be great if it weren't for the prolonged procrastination habits which are still a big part of me. second resolution,

No Procrastination. Just DO IT.

Finally, a nice Big Smile.

I want to thank all my friends and family and loved ones who have been so kind to me. To SuYen, MeiWen, Tammy and BeeLi(who i have only met once since i came back) Thank you so much for being there for me when i have problems or even when just spending time together. i really feel very close to you, enjoy everymoment with you and there's no same feeling i would have with anyone else of course, except with my bie, my family and the other two roomies back home. We'd always have that "girl bond", ey?

Mei Wen and i.

To my roomies in australia,

Loris,
This i couldn't have owed u my gratitude enough. thank you so much for all your wisdom and opnions and advice whenever i ask for them. Yes, we do argue about things but after that, u'd always confront/approach me and talk it through. That is something i would always try to avoid, but then we both do grow even more from that. and yes, u seem more like my mother than my friend. sometimes, u do make me think twice about things i would do because i knew u would ask questions about why i did that. although i find them taxing, i know that u asked because u care. and because of that, it has made me more appreciative for you and not forgetting being more aware of my surroundings than i ever would have if i hadn't lived with u. u and ur big heart where u'll always offer me help WHENEVER u see me busy and u were free. u would sacrifice ur tv time for me. thank you so mucH!! remember when i told u that i admired u because of the way u think and the way u stand up for your opinions? i learnt from you that everyone has different opinions, though our opinions clash, you thought me to stand up for what i believe in. Thank u very much! I Love You, Loris. Thanks for helping me grow into the person i am today. i know i'd always have ur back the way u'll have mine. Looking forward to living together again next year. More Ups and Downs. haha.

(writing so much.. now listening to "Loving you is easy caue you're beautiful" by minnie riperton.)

Charlie and i.

Michelle,
I know that all these years of friendship between us have been full of twists and turns. we end up in fights. we end up in arguements. sometimes we don't talk. sometimes we don't mix very well. we have different personality that don't click. sometimes there's misunderstandings from the smallest things. u curse to express where as i get annoyed by that. but one thing i know for sure, u'll always have an impact on me. u might think that things u say don't matter to me. they do (if not, ask melvin). u were very encouraging to me in australia and even when i'm back in Malaysia with the erm.. problem with Melvin, with family. you'll know what i mean. i have fun back in Australia with u and loris. wrestling. slapping. hitting. playing. pushing. carrying. when i think bout me crying when i lose or kena bully, i feel so stupid now. haha. but please, don't be too harsh on me.. softer.. cause i can't take it. ;) Lame as it might be, the miss incredible hulk. i appreciate it when u call me to talk about problems. i know i suck in giving advice or consolement, but as long as i'm there trying, right? and i have not properly apologised to u about the form 4 incident where i turned my back on you. i'm sorry for that. i am really ashamed of myself. I hope i'll be able to make up for it. After that long night of confrontations, i know why u do the things u do and why u are the way u are. I'll never judge you again. I Love You, Mich. The thing bout the outing, i hope u understand. u're moving next year, friends forever kay?? muaks.

Jia Hau and i.

To My Bie,
What can i say about this year to you? i think i can say that you know about almost everything in my life. and you are definitely there for me whenever i need and i want you. hehe. i know i'm an insecure, and sensitive and annoyingly possessive girlfriend, but i know you like me being like that, so, haha, we're the perfect pair!! we have begun fighting the way normal couple fights. sorry for being jakun but that's so coool! haha.. up till now, i'm still wondering who's the sweeter one in this relationship. hmmm, let's see, the one who flew back from australia to see the other half, or the one who bake cookies again and again for the other half, or the one who do errands for the other half's mother again and again, or the one who waits so long for the other half when going out all the time or the one who have to cut his social meetings short so that he could fetch his other half home early cause she has a curfew, or the one who would never drive above 100km/hr because the other half doesn't like it, or.. ok, the sweeter one's you. ;) honestly, when i start thinking about u and me, i can't believe that you can take me complaining just about anything all the time! i know i think a lot. and i talk about those really small things with you. every little single detail. i'll talk about anything with you. that's why sometimes i end up hurting you cause there's no filter. i talk about absolutely anything. one thing about this long distance relationship lasting so long, i think it's because we talk a lot. and i love talking to you. and i know u love talking to me. damn, i love u. i gotta thank technology for letting us do that. i love your patience and tolerance and dedication. i know i piss you off a lot. (really, i do) and u could take all that shit. i really really love you!! thanks, mich, for introducing him to me! i'll never forget the day we met!! muaks bie! hey, we gotta cook together more often!

Bie and i.

Last but not least, My Family.

My mother, erge, my father and younger brother.
when there is no one else to lean on, your family will ALWAYS have your back, true? i think so.

My mother, hearing her voice on the other end of the line is always something i look forward to hear. though hearing my dad's just makes me feel pressured cause it's always about exams, presentations, studies and never forgetting, the new house. haha. My mom gives me much needed encouragement and i hope i give her the amounts she needs.
i love u, mommy!
hugging u at night and telling u that, when u give it back, it's worth more than anything in the world.

Erge. Erge, hehe, the brother i see every weekend now that we stay not as near as before and enjoy our very own mini-"family" movie session. haha. He's there to listen to my problems, to accompany me go places, he thinks bout me when he goes to Phillip Island, bought me a penguin!! ehehe.. and help me do my work, with a lot of begging and asking and begging. haha, the "beautiful" brother i have. honest with me, thinks i'm an egoistic maniac. but hey, i love u just the same ok? love me too. :P thanks for being there for me, too! when i had no one to turn to in Australia. At least i have u there. thank you. happy new year!

Chen Sern, my youngest brother. i like spending time with u when u're alone. really. cause u tend to turn less friendly when someone else is there. love you, boy!

Dad. My inspirational figure. thank you for making the big big house work! i love u dad! and i know u care for me, will try to worry u less, kay? To both my parents, sorry if i disappoint you. here's another resolution,

Be a Good, Useful, Loving Daughter.

(Now playing Melvin's fav song, "all my life" by k-ci and jo-jo)

Weng Keong, Goh, Benjy, Weng Kin, Charlie, Eve, Jin, Fannie, Arlene, and Lutfi and all the new people i've met and come to know better this year, happy new year! and hope to know you guys even better in years to come!! Thanks for being my friends and making my life even more enjoyable, interesting and fun!

Me, Ex Bestarians and Friends.

Wow i think this is the longest post yet. another one of my new year's resolution :

To pick up on Reading.

so recommendations anyone? i've got "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult at the moment. Recommended by Melvin cause his petsis kept on talking bout it. hehe, let's see what it's about. So, any recommendation by anyone is welcomed!

Happy new year once agaiN!

(ending with "Walking After You" by Foo Fighters..)

i cannot be without you,

matter of fact..

i'm on your back..

if you walk out on me..

i'm walking after you..

Missed Old Times.

2006-12-29T01:52:00.000+08:00

i love my mom.

i love my dad.

i love my Bie.

i love my brothers.

i love my friends.

i just watched a movie with my mother. it was Devil Wears Prada.

i watched the movie before and i recommend it to anyone who's a fan of fashion and Meryl Streep. My mother actually watched through the whole movie. Lately she hasn't been doing that with the moving of the house, she always sleeps halfway. hehe.

she looked so tired, i felt bad going out today. i shall be a good daughter tomorrow and wake up early and help her as much as i caN! i gotta say this out otherwise, i don't think i'd do it!!

anyways, i gotta say, today, after catching up with su yen and meiwen, tammy and evonne(not so much cause i was late and they went back early), i realized how much i missed them!! and i know one that i have not been able to spend time with one on one, .. bee li.. i miss u larr. we'll see each other soon kay?? when u're free and when i'm free. miss u.

and another girl, loris. can't wait for u to come back. miss those times with u where u give me ur opinions and guidance. your advice and opinions are wise and i always ask for them.

life, .. i appreciate each day as it goes. maybe not enough. wake up early for god's sake and stop sleeping your life away!!!

saying of the day :
The fool who is aware of his foolishness is wise at least to that extent. But the fool who thinks himself wise is a fool indeed.

Christmas Eve Party

2006-12-26T18:16:00.000+08:00

Noticed that my previous post was a little immature. Was just overexpressing my unhappiness with the er, strictness of my parents. But what everyone told me is true, they have reasons. Anyways, what happened on Christmas Eve wasn't as bad as i expect it. so, here goes.. hehe

Christmas Eve..

It started with melvin picking me up from my new house to go to Jusco to get some groceries for the evening. While waiting for me to get ready, (sorry bie!) i invited him into a room where it was filled with awkwardness. My grandma was there with my younger cousin, sitting at the dry kitchen (facing the main entrance) and my mother was walking all over cleaning up the house... yeah, he was lost there for a minute.. then my dad saw him and said "hi".. for a second there, we were wondering if he had mistaken Melvin for one of the construction workers in the house cause of his almost "vietnamese-uncle" look.. but well, he was friendly.

he came right upstairs and knocked on my door like some idiot when i was using my parent's bathroom. (mine didn't have any hot water at the moment!!) anyways, haha, then i came out and he was sitting on a chair in the hallway looking so lost.. kesian.. anyways, we woke chensern (my younger brother up) and went to Jusco. We went to Metroprima cause chensern wanted to pick up some friends.

all the groceries and snacks my brother chose... amounted up to RM400!!! what the hell costs so mucH!!??! my mom said, next time don't cook. just buy food. It's WAY CHEAPER.

anwyays, we got home, started cooking. and before we realise it, it's 7! and i haven't bath!

we cooked :

Mushroom Soup. Baked Stuffed Mushrooms. Baked Chicken Wings. Mash Potatoes with Gravy. Cheese and Macaroni (staleeee). Coleslaw.

Michelle and Suyen prepared :

Lasagne. Cheesecake (yumM!!)

and the rest brought :
Drinks and a christmas present for the HOST! hehe..

HERSHEYS! love it. Thanks!

The night was basically a dinner and karaoke till late night. michelle was on a low profile that night.. till when everyone almost left! THEN she start to sing! invited her to sing in the beginning, nooooOOOO.. "no mood la.. songs too emo la.. " but glad u opened up in the end! sorry u couldn't be at a better place. So was Melvin. so quiettt.. TILL EVERYONE LEFT!!! tsktsk..

Suyen was fuN! so was the rest! Weng keong, Weng Kin, Yi Wang, Wai Seng, Daniel, Angel (really sweet voice!!), DeZien and all. hehe.. thanks for being such good sports!

Thank you everyone for coming! i hope u had fuN!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

I Can't Have Everything, Huh..?

2006-12-17T17:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i feel that it is VERY ironic. In Australia, lots of freedom, but no one to spend that freedom with. In Malaysia, Less freedom but lots of people to spend time with. ARGHHH!

have i been a bad daughter?

did i fail in my exams??

did i fail my semesters??

didn't i study hard??

didn't i make u prouD??

No matter what, i am always not good enough.

One question pops up,

" can i go out for new year's eve?"

and a harsh question comes shooting up.

"what is wrong with you?! we jst had the new house done and .. etcc.. "
(and i'm not even gonna mention christmas! - they're having their own parties with their friends for both occasions in the house)

What did i do wrong? Must every child in my family stand up and shout back to my parents only they'll give them what they want? is that what they want???! i am totally against that, but seriously,

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!?

is anyone reading this encountering a similar problem? what should i do? i'm 19.

bloody blogger!

2006-12-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

just wrote a bloody long post about something i'm really bloody pissed bout.

the bloody laptop just shut down itself and it's all bloody gone!!

surely it happened to everyone before but DAMN IT!!!

weng keong said it's probably a sign to jst forget bout it.

and i guess yeah.. sure.. lucky for that person who made me pissed.

but just a warning to the person involved,

don't ever do it if u can't take me being short with u (cause obviously, i don't like it.). but if u ever do it again, don't keep bringing it up with me. i'd rather not talk bout it.

anyways, pictures from a few days ago, i look great with make up. no? hehe..

it's as if he's shouldering me..

until next time! bye!!

Random Post. (a week ago)

2006-12-12T10:14:00.000+08:00

Me and michelle while waiting outside the cinema for Melvin. We were watching colic. i sggested that show, so, weng keong, Weng kin, Michelle and Bie, i'm SO SORRRRRRY!!!

IT SUCKS PEOPLE!!! DON'T WATCH IT!

Melvin and i in Kenny Rogers. Our fav. restaurant at the moment. Chieeeeeecken... Yummmm..

Random pics.

wth...? hehe..

Anyways...

was in the new house in the mines and cleaning up parts of it. What's tiring is it took the whole day jst to clear out one part of the house, the kitchen. The dust, the wiping, the sweeping, the hauling of heavy things.. plates, cups, bowls.. my parents boughtt so much!!! ... rgh! towards the end of the day when my parents are still finalising some decisions of the house, i didn't have much to do.. my dad had lots of work of art and statues around.. so...

my dad and i.

Dad and his new favourite chair.

just thought this looked really Cute. Mom has this obsession with getting everything looking clean and perfect. That's why my room is always a concern for her.. -_-" anyways, we were at the house and all the mirrors in there were full of finer prints and dust and smudges, Jst NOT sparkling clean. So she went around wiping them with newspaper making sre they're looking perfect. and where some parts are too high to reach, she asked my dad to do it. Who thought that these kind of work are more for the maids to do it SINCE they were there. but he did it anyways and it just looked funny and really CUTE! hehe.

Well, Until next time! gonna be busy these two weeks getting things and cleaning for the new house! ciaO!

Tagged.

2006-12-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

Just been tagged and i have nothing interesting to write. So here goes. :)

Wait there, time pass damn fast when one's with her loved ones. Here i am with family, friends and Boyfriend. hehe. Monday, i'm with mom. Tuesday i'm with Him. Wednesday, i'm with mom. Thursday, i'm with him. Friday i'm with mom and dad. Tomorrow, with friends!! hehe. see ya guys soon! ouh, sorry weng foo, today couldn't visit u! will sooN!

Layer ONE : On the Outside
Name: Chai Yee Lyn
Birth Date: 15-06-1987
Current Status: In a Relationship. :)
Eye color: Black
Hair Color: Black
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Layer TWO : On the inside
Your Heritage: Chinese
Your Fears: Dark, scary movies, (hate to admit it) standing up to my parents.
Your Weaknesses: Blur, Opinions changes a lot.
Your Perfect Pizza: Marinara

Layer THREE : Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: What time is it..
Your Bedtime: lately, 1am.
Your most missed memory: The times when all my family members were coming back from Saturday night's dinner in the car, including mom, dad, big bro, er ge, me and small bro.

Layer FOUR : Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King.
Single or group dates: Both.
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Lipton tea or Nestea:Lipton.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Mocha.

Layer FIVE :
Do you Smoke: Twice in my life.
Curse: No.

Layer SIX : In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Yes.
Gone to the mall: Yes.
Been on stage: Nope.
Eaten sushi: Yes. Tonnes.
Dyed your hair: Nope.

Layer SEVEN: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: No, Would love to try with my friends. ;)
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope.

Layer EIGHT
Age you're hoping to be married : 28. Cross fingers.

Layer NINE: In a Girl/Guy.
Best eye colour: Hazel.
Best hair colour: Black.
Short or long hair: SHORT.

Layer TEN: What Were You Doing.
1 minute ago: Talking with my boyfriend.
1 hour ago: Driving home from The Mines.
4.5 hours ago: At the Mines. Looking at my parents talking about Concepts of Architecture.
1 month ago: Back in Aus. Stress Gila.
1 year ago: Still in Aus. :(

Layer ELEVEN : Finish The Sentence
I love: Melvin!!
I feel: like shopping!!
I hate: my tummy.
I hide: nothing.
I miss: my brother.
I need: sleeeeeep..

Layer TWELVE: Tag Five People
1) Weng Foo.
2) Mei Wen.
3) Blurry D.
4) Yannee.
5) Anyone who wants to do this.

My Parents, Among Other Things.

2006-12-06T00:41:00.000+08:00

Just came back from the Curve with my bie. it's 12 am. watched DejaVu. Quite confusing bout very interesting. Suspense all over. Anyways, what i noticed today.

Melvin can't let go of things he can't get. Seriously. It's been 5 hours! get over ittttt! haha..

I feel really happy with him.

And my brother's putting his hand on my head right now and spinning it about. Very annoying. STOP IT!!

........ tsk.

Ahhh.. Finally. my brother - trait that runs in the family. ^

back to today. Woke up at noon. Had lunch. Mom said i could relax today. So, YAY! went to hunt for fridges and washing machines yesterday for the new house. Tiring. Went to Ikea to look for bedsheets. and man, all we got were anything BUT BEDSHEETS! .. hehe.. anways, had Melvin come over and then we went out after a while. Mom called a few hours later. "where are U? .."

in the car.

christmas tree.

Thought of the day,

should i stop worrying my mom and dad about coming home late? although telling them what time u'd be home and be 1/2 hour late bout it seems quite acceptable for me.. help me. sometimes it's so hard to ask my mother FOR permission to go out. i do help my parents. help.. and i get a phonecall with a stern voice saying that i'm too mch everytime i go out..

how?

or do i not go out at all?

Past Week in Malaysia.

2006-12-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating much lately. been busy and just not motivated enough to pluck the laptop into the wires and stuff. hehe. Back home here in malaysia!

anyways, the past 2 weeks back home have been great. met up with the girls (su yen, tam, mich, beeli, meiwen), met up with the guys (wengkin, jianwen, bernard, ngaiwah, ian..), There's still the rest of u i wanna meet! wengkeong, A4 boys, choonfei, etc! caught up with my hubbie.. hehe, and most importantly, family..

went jogging almost every weekday the past two weeks with my mother.

went to italianese in curve for a small reunion then off to laundry bar! (all these new places, man i so jakun..)

italianeseeeeeeeeeeee..

LaundryBarrrr..

and highlight of the week, maison's on ladies' night!! loved it loved it loved it!!

at Maison's

me, mich, syen, and tammie

i was dancing like mad, high or not high. kesian my feet and heels. i just love dancing. i love it i love it i love it!!!

mistakes learnt:-

1) NEVER WEAR EXPENSIVE HEELS TO CLUB, the back-strap thingy came off!! wuwu..

2) ONLY WEAR HEELS with heights u're comfortable with. SERIOusLY.

but at the end of the day, it's so worth it. u look good and it boosts ur confidence. hehe..

had bacardi limon. ok lerrrr.. as usual, i got high at the second glass. not even shots. it's glasses!! mixed with lemon juice. yikes!

bernard was there, raj, his friend(great dancer), darren, soonjeat, aaina were amongst the familiar faces we see in there..

hmmmmmm..
beginning of the night wasn't really exciting. as usual. waited around. but wasn't long till it filled up. my dream finally came true. i get to slut-dance with my boyfriend!!! hehe.. okla, not slutdance lar. dance. ;)

we were all hot and sweaty and it's so stuffy in there, it's so hard to breathe!!!

dancing with melvin.

dancing with tammy.

dancing with mich.

dancing with su yen.

dancing with melvin.

dancing a lot with melvin.

loved it. loved it.

didn't wanna leave so soon.. but, ouh well.............................

on the way back. (sorry, tam!)

big time camwhore-rs at the back. XD

then went to mcD.. and then.. a long long nightttt... sleep. :)

after that, it's a lot of staying at home i guess.

I noticed that in my experience of clubbing. my pattern most of the time in clubbing is, "the first one to get high, the first one to sober up."

and another thing, ..... i wanna kiss a girl.. just for fun, u know.. hehe..

RANDOM THOUGHT : my future house must have aircond in every freakin room.

more pics on multiply. will upload it sooN! see ya! for those who want it, http://eelinchai.multiply.com

My Latest Project.

2006-11-14T09:22:00.000+08:00

i have been back from australia 2 weeks ago. and sorry, have been quite lazy to go online, actually.. started reading newspaper again after god-knows how long.. hahaha.. and i actually enjoyed it. anyways, been meaning to post this up sooner. it's my latest project from before.

this is the proposal for a residential community housing and it is located on a hill-like site in Warrandyte, Australia. this is the site model. after considering the site conditions, this is what i think would be best for the site. The proposal is for 2 extended families of 15, numbering up to 30 people. Two main decks connected to houses and also to each other by pathways and stairs, works as social activities areas. These are the other pictures. Damn proud of this model wei! hehe.. thanks to loris for helping me cut ot the contours and mich for the trees~! thank you! haven't got the results yet. hope it's good. hehe..

another typical day with michelle.

2006-11-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

another typical day with michelle.

i have just been tortured by michelle.

i'm painfully hurt emotionally and physically.

here's how.

i was doing my folio on my computer when suddenly mich msn-ed me.

-Me-SheL- says:
MY FACE IS FAT
-Me-SheL- says:
and round

-_-" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here's a recent photo of the three of us. and who has the bloody thinnest, longest face here?!?!??! and she's complaining to meeeeee???????
.......

and i walked right into her room and went... arrrrrrghhhh!!!!!!!
she looked at me, scared. first time leh!! hehe.. then she said "yeah wad!!" and asked me to squeeze her fats on her face. i was like, waht?! even with ur face stretched like that it's still as wide as my face's jawline. well, if u resize the proportion. yeah so u get the picture.

anyways, so we were looking at emily's picture from Devil Loves Prada because meiwen said that she looked like her according to one of the pictures.. erg, ok only lerrr..

then this mich ask me go continue my work.. i don't want. she go and bite meeee!!! on my shoulder. (i was sitting on her.) ok maybe i deserved that.
then she go and hit meee! red edi.

michelle cheam ai ching!!!!!! arrrrrrrrr!! u cause me pain but yet, yet..

aih.. i forgive u la. u pms today right? teehee.. 10 hours sleep not enough.. tsk tsk..

see ya on the bed!! muakssss.. (raise eyebrow.. hehe)

Everything by LifeHouse.

2006-11-04T17:18:00.000+08:00

Everything

by LifeHouse.

Find me here

Speak to me

I want to feel you

I need to hear you

You are the light

that is leading me

to the place where

I find peace again

You are the strength

that keeps me walking

You are the hope

that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose

You are everything

And how can I

stand here with you

and not be moved by you

Would you tell me

How could it be

any better than this

You calm the storms

You give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You still my heart

and you take my breath away

Would you take me in

Would you take me deeper now?

Cause you're all I want

You are all I need

You are everything

Everything..

I love u bie.. and i'm sorry.

There's no one else for me but you..

(and bie, this is not a form of apology. was just really feeling the song.)

i miss..

2006-11-03T11:59:00.000+08:00

i miss...

..MY GUITARRRRRR..

where are u when i need to pluck your strings?!?

the sound of u calms me down and makes me wanna drown in it..

i may not be good in it, but i miss it..

i want my fingers to be red and hard just playing u..

guitarrrrrrrr.. .. .. guitarrrrrr...
guitarrrrrrrrrrr... .. guitarrr...
guitarrr. .

iwant to play songs!!! but i can't even remember it now..

me, when i had my guitar last year..

my brother kidnapped it!!! .. :(

grrrr..r...r...

ouh, and i hate minuscule modelssssss..

me now.. ..

What Crossed My Head Today.

2006-10-31T12:36:00.000+08:00

What Crossed My Head Today.

Sitting in front of my working desk and while trying to think of a simple yet bold form for this chain of houses on a hill, (ok dunno why this pic cannot upload)

the beyond song, "paradise" my late brother loved to play.., played on my computer. And it reminds me how calming this song is and why my brother loved it.. miss him..

then,

while sketching a number of different roofs (couldn't upload that too - grrr), i remembered my father's reaction when i called him yesterday as i felt my eyes twitching ( i may be superstitious but people say bad things happen when that happens - touch wood). and the reaction he gave me after i told him why i called, he gave a sigh of relief and said, "when u called me, i though somehting bad happened, made me worried.."

i realised, i seldom call my parents and talk to them lately and yeah, i should call them more often.

more thoughts popped up. how much i miss my home and my family. Nothing is more important than that. i miss sitting in the car with my mom, she would always talk to me bout her friends, work, my dad, and i would feel that at times, i'm the person she releases some of her stress to. and yeh, she would always overshoot a signboard or take the wrong turn. and there's always the occasional interruptions from her "always-ringing" phone. haha.. annoying as it is, i miss that..

Now, back here in aus, almost every evening when it is time to choose where to eat and where to eat. i finally understood how my mom felt when she used to ask me everyday what i wanted to eat for dinner. and i guess i understand how annoyed or dissappointed she felt when i replied her time after time, "i dunno, u decide la." BUT SOMETIMES I GOT SAY WHAT I WANT LA..

I MISS MY MOM!!
I MISS MY DAD!!
and i miss the feeling of food and snacks being brought up to u or prepared for u when u're sitting in front of the tv or computer. at 7pm. on the dot. i wantttt.. -_-

and I MISS CHEN SERN!! can't wait to come back!! :)

and why does my eye keep twitchING?!?!?!??! arrrgh..

A Liveless Day for Me..

2006-10-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

A LiveLess Day For Me.

Today is a dull day for me. Besides the fact that i spent the whole night doing my history essay due this afternoon. (It's not all that good.)

i feel as though my life has been drained out of me.

It's one of those days when i felt like i am not very healthy and the strain at the back of my neck just won't go away. i handed in my essay, went back home.. i did have a nap. i lied down there and tried to sleep.. i couldn't. i kept waking up every 20 minutes, but yet i feel tired.

tried to eat.. ate a bit. what's wrong with me?

and why does my eye keep twitchiNG?!?!?!

Good and Bad Relationships.

2006-10-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

you have a bf/girlfriend and yet u snap at your friend of the opposite sex when he/she tells you about this person he/she likes. or every other person.

you have a bf/girlfriend but yet u are ashamed of him/her.

you have a bf/girlfriend but he/she cheats on you.

your bf/ gf loves you but you couldn't care more bout his/her feelings.

you have a bf/girlfriend but he/she doesn't love or appreciate you.

you have a bf/girlfriend but you lie to him/her.

i hate relationships when i see or hear bout these things.
i wouldn't know if anyone else is doing this to me. am i to blame for thinking this if i know stuff like this happens?

and i hate this the most,
you love your bf and he loves you back, but u're so far apart. (maybe that's why we still love each other so much)

the irony...

however,

i love relationships when i see or hear bout these thing..

your bf plans and prepares the best date ever. flowers, classy restaurants, gentlemen-ness..

your bf/gf makes sure that everything goes well and goes through all measures just so that you would have the perfect birthday, and most importantly, to see you smile and happy.

your bf/gf surprises you with sweet gestures, small but sweet and memorable none the less.

your bf/gf practices cooking your favourite meal till it's perfect.

and the obvious,

your bf/gf helps, motivates, trusts, cares when it meant the most and

appreciates each other.

ok maybe it's those negative things on top there that makes the bottom things there more memorable and valuable.

see ya next time!

hearing problems and moviess.

2006-10-22T12:36:00.000+08:00

"..that's stupid, it'll be chaos.."
"back off?"
"chaos."
"pay off?"
"CHAOS!!"
"Ouh! CHAOS!.."

that's how our conversation is almost everyday.. hehe, tiring isn't it.. it always ends with loris saying, " i don't wanna talk to you. " or, "do you clean your ears?"

yes, i admit. i have a small hearing problem. happens with everyone i speak with.

Melvin actually said, " you know, it's kinda annoying that i have to repeat everything i say to you.. "

well, the irony with melvin and i is that, he has a low, soft deep voice. and i am just not alert enough to catch what he says. but what can he do.. he's tied to me, aren't u, melvin? hehe..

Lutfi, my classmate here in melbourne talks even softer than melvin. and one time, asked me to go to 7-11 as we were passing one. and i asked, "what for?"

"to get ear buds." !@#$%^&!!!!!

anyways, let's talk bout yesterday,

after spending the whole day yesterday at the computer lab doing work, i went to watch 2 movies later at night. One was Step Up and another was Little Miss Sunshine.

If you've watched Take The Lead, this movie is 10 times better. (in my opinion) Although the lead actress in Step Up is the same girl in Take The Lead (one of the students), she's much better in dancing in Step Up. Just watch it. More dancing, more skills. and the combination is great. Ballet and hiphop. Love, music, dancing, sexy bodies.

Then Little Miss Sunshine. i like wat they're trying to show here. A broken up family trying to make it happen. But in the end, it's not so broken up after all. Great family value. very interesting and funny. My favourite character in there was Duwane. The teenage son in the family who swore to a vow of silence till he achieves his goal as a pilot. he's really funny. dopey funny.

went back home, slept.. Had english breakfast this morning. Yum. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. and hot chocolate. first time since so long ago since we had breakfast.. normally i just miss it. -_-

HOW COME I CAN'T UPLOAD ANY MORE PICSSSS...??????

well, this was last weekend. thought i posted it up but oh well.. hmm today's friday. night. again. went shopping today. don't feel like talking.. can't post pics up.. grrr.. next time then!

byeeeee..

Sad Friday Night. :(

2006-10-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

Sad Friday Night. :(

am in the computer lab with joel now. he's a classmate. funny guy. Malaccan Malaysian (if there's such a term. -_-). met him earlier this year. it is currently 1.37am on a friday night. and i'm in a computer lab!! doing my f-reeaking assignment!! SOO arrrrgh.. but it's ok, it's ok.. when u've done this, u can forget bout this and move on to OTHER assignments. hmm.. life as an architect student. what else is new huh..

thank god joel is here with me. there's only 2 of us here in the lab and hahaha, finally! found someone to walk me home! was getting kinda worried. :) thanks joEL!

waiting for this Rhino programme to render.. god.. takes so long..

oh well, let me tell u bout my day. went to do history research with this half-jap, half-hongkong guy who can speak both jap and cantonese, YOSHI. went to the exhibition building, the melbourne museum (a totally different building from what you would expect, seriously - i'll post a pic when i get my hands on those photos). had lunch, then discussed bout work.. right after that, went straight to the lab to do work.. 2 hourslater, went to have dinner at Wagamama! this new restaurant which just opened at the bottom of our apartment. it's a japanese restaurant. and interesting thing is, when we enter it, it seemed like 90% of the room is filled with people wearing black! black suits, mostly. it's kinda nice to see. they look like people wh0 just got off work. and the place looks good, a little classier than the usual restaurants u see in Melbourne. but food was ok only larr.. expensive lar.. man.. after that went back to the computer lab to finish off my work..

just realised i should brring my camera out more often. take more pics. :)
and just realised that what i talked about up there is work, eat, work, eat, work.. man!
WHEN WILL WORK BE OVER!!! :*(

see ya next time!

Rhino still rendering!! DAMMIT!!

I'm Not There.

2006-09-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm Not There.

When you're singing a birthday song to your close friend during the celebration last week,
when your family welcomes a new puppy in to your home and still have not thought of its name,
when you laugh so hard at a joke that a person made that tears came out your eyes,
when you anxiously go online to check your results from the examination a month ago,
when you need a hug a after knowing your results were bad,
i was not there.

When all the couples in the room are your friends and the one without his partner is you,
when everyone else have a partner to kiss when the countdown on New Year's Eve ended except you,
when all your friends go out with their partners and you have one free afternoon to spend,
when your favourite love song was played where couples could dance ever so sweetly,
when the stars could not be brighter and the waves splashing into the clear white sands could not sound more peaceful,
when the view could not be more beautiful and the hill could not be more lonely,
i was not there.

when will i ever be there?

bie, i wanna be there with you.. and ey
(i can't write poems huh.., at least i tried. :))

The Weirdest Dream Ever... but i LIKE IT!

2006-09-24T11:25:00.000+08:00

The Weirdest Dream Ever... but i LIKE IT!

i watched Die Hard 3 before i sleep that night, starring Bruce Willis. i know he's older now. but i love the way he carries himself. his face. it's really cooL!

N anyway, when i went to sleep that night, i dreamed that a guy (the villain) and i were having a gun fight with each other. Like really shooting here and there, running from here to there, trying to dodge bullets. and guess what??? BRUCE WILLIS WAS THERE TO AID ME!! (couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear) heeeehee..

there were many people around. it looks like it's set in a public building. it's a big building cause we seem to have lots of places to go. wat was funny is that i got shot in the head multiple times but i'm still standing. XD finally, after a great teamwork between Bruce and me, we finally shot the villain down. HEADSHOT!

after that, all the people that were running around calmed down.. took a while and walked towards Bruce Willis. To get his autograpH! you see, he wasn't there as the character he was playing but he was there as Bruce Willis, being my backup to help fight the forces of evil! MUAAHHAHA!!.. so happy. and anways, i myself went up to him to get his autograph as well.. (i'm a fan..) he saw me, he leaned towards me and was as though wanting to give me a kiss on the forehead, or a hug or just something like that, and then... .. ... ..

i woke up!!!! wuwuwuwuwuwu!!!

can't believe it.. one of the good dreams and i always have to wake up when the good part's about to come..

but i'm still very happY!!

hehe, neways, that's it for now. CIAO!

stressful time is OVER.... for now.

2006-09-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

finally have time to relax..

since last friday. my schedule had been, wake up, work, eat, work, eat, work, talk to melvin a bit, work, sleep, wake up, work, eat, work, etc etc.. seriously speaking, if it weren't for michelle buying food for me, i would have starved to death without noticing!! .. so thanks michelle for saving my life!!! wuwu.. (praise!! ) wow, by the way, this is the result of not going for class the past week and a half for Design subject! never miss class agaiN! EVER! ..

i had to miss one of the only times we planned to go clubbiNG.. michelle was going with jasmine and her friends and i was supposed to gO!!! .. i deserve it. EELIN! NEVER SKIP CLASS AGAIN!! EVER!! ..

neways just watched silent hill with my brother, michelle, jin and fannie. disgustiNG! and yuck! and ewwwww! urhlghk.. for ppl who like disgustingness and "jumpi-ness" u can watch this. but hate the damn ending! let them live a happy life larrr! ...

now waiting for my melvin bie to come online. while waiting.. hmmm, lemme tell u bout my presentation. my tutors were disappointed in me. wuwu.. they say, the previous project was great. WHAT HAPPENED? then i go, "..." then they say, you should come for classes. you can't afford to miss anymore. YES I SHOULD COME FOR CLASSES!

now i'm having my one week holiday! yay!! but there's some hw and i need to work on my previous projects. we'll see how. :)

well, see ya next time! i wanna go shoppinG!

ps, i wanna thank melvin for being there to comfort me and motivate me and be there for me when i was on the brink of a break down. and also michelle foe being there to listen to me talking bout regretting misssing classes and kutuk me so bad that i really realize my mistake. THANKS BOTH OF YOU! muakssss!

Long Distance. I Hate It.

2006-09-11T11:25:00.000+08:00

just found out i'm a super sensitive girl who gets uncomfortable and pissed over the tiniest little things. today i'm talking bout relationships. Actually, Long Distance Relationship.

what forms a long distance relationship?
mostly when the bf/gf decides to study overseas and either one have to stay behind.

what happens then?
bf and gf are separated, pain of missing one another are endures, lots of money are spent on phonecards and lots of time in front of the computer screen (although they do have a lot of fun just talking).

anything else?
yes, gf gets extremely jealous over small, pathetic things like when some girl gets close to bf. gf gets mad and bf patiently comforts and reassures gf that nth's going on and that they are JUST FRIENDS.

all guys say that when their gfs accuse them of liking someone else or anything similar to that. EVEN if it is not true. after talking with several guys, they told me that they would tell their gfs that they are just friends even if they do have feelings for the third party. (not talking bout you melvin, justwanna share my opinions) They ALL say that to avoid trouble and confrontation. or yeah maybe it's just exciting for them to have someone new to play with.

however, there are guys who genuinely don't have feelings for other girls. they really are friends. close friends.

i think there are reasons why some bfs/gfs get easily jealous in these situations. me, for one, DO NOT BELIEVE in a girl and a guy being really close friends who hangs out with each other often would not develope feelings for one another. ONE of them is bound to feel that. that is from my point of view. althout i do believe that they can be JUST FRIENDS. when a couple is separated by the ocean so far far far FAR away, they tend to get insecure because they are not there to take care of their bf/gf. they can't see their loved one's friends in real life, not knowing how they are, if they're friendly (or overfriendly) or not..

not only that, i KNOW people who actually go ahead for the particular guy or girl even when they know that that particular person has a bf/gf, especially if they're far far far FAR away! obviously, the bf/gf is in an unstable, weak condition.. not reassured with their other halves being so far away.. not knowing what their loved ones are actually thinking.. if the same thing is happening to them.. obviously, anyone would want the easy way out. but i'm telling those people who steal other ppl's bf/gfs away, they did it to their ex-es, what makes u think that they won't do it to u??

and some people, they might get desperate and develope urges to have thirst for physical affections. all they can do is control themselves and not be like animals. if u really love your partner, u would know not to do anything to jeopardize your relationships. although i just read from cosmopoliton that there is such a thing as a .. damn can't find the mag. it's something like an open relationship where both the gf and bf know about stuff tat they do with other ppl. intimate stuff. where they can set limits and stuff. so, they can have fun without being seen as cheating. but being such a jealous person that i am, i don't ever want to try that.

hmmm, i don't know what i'm trying to say. just want to express my views. ciao.
ps long distance is not easy.. i hate it..

"My Best Friend's Wedding"..

2006-09-03T11:56:00.000+08:00

My Best Friend's Wedding

a very good morning to all.. just finished watching My Best Friend's Wedding by Julia Roberts, Dermont Mulroney, Cameron Diaz and Rupert Everett.

first of all, it just bums me out when i hear so many stories of women getting extremely jealous (which is normal) when the guy who had been in love with them since forever (as in they could have had him for her own) falls in love with someone else. and what's worse, they would do ANYTHING to get them back.

apparently, the only character that i like in the movie is the gay guy played by Rupert Everett. he's funny, great friend and gives REALLY REALLY GOOD ADVICE.

oh well, here's the storyline. ok. this commitment-shy woman falls in love with her best friend for many many years ( 20years or so) the day he told her that he decided to marry someone else. they had a long history, this two.. i can't remember their names. The best friend ( guy ) loved this woman for 9 years. she could have had him in that nine years time.

in my opinion all this girl wants is to win. she couldn' take it when the guy who have loved her for nine years starts to love someone else. she's not his attention anymore. and she wants his attention back. or she just wants him becasue someone else has him. urggghH! so selfish..

anyways, she was invited to the wedding and asked to be the maid of honour. and during that time, she did all that she could to destroy that wedding!! URGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! .. soooo mean!!! arggghhhhh!!! yeah, oh well, u shoud watch it. cause well,.. it all came around.. hehe..
but ey, i just can't take girls like these.. some of them would just do anything to get them back, no matter how degrading.

yeah.. ok gonna go cook and eat lunch.. aih.. hehe.. good afternoon!! byebye!

Infill Site Project presentation

2006-09-01T10:36:00.000+08:00

Infill Site Proj Presentation

sorry i haven't been updating my blog.. been busy with the assignments! my god.. they just wouldn't stop.. just finished one big assignment and now they're assigning us with another one.

presentations.. - everytime i think ofthem, i get butterflies in my tummy!!.. and when i finally get up there, i get ssssstuckkkkkkkkkkk!!! .. i'd go, er.. (hold breath and trying to think of somehting to say, but i can't..) er.. (then hold another breath, looking at my pin-up, the only word i could think of was STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK
STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK STUCK
STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK
STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK STUCK
STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK
STUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCKSTUCK STUCK

AARRRRRGGGHHHHHH>>>>>>>!!!

well, then the tutors will say, this is a good start.. jokingly..
then they'll say, why don't u start with the location of ur site..
and then, phew.. i get to get at least a few words out of my mouth..
EELIN!! PREPARE YOUR VERBAL PRESENTATION next time!

ok, thing is i would prepare what to say, but thing is, i don't know what to say!!
the thing about designing a house, they would always ask, what is your concept/idea??
what do u want people to think of when they see this house??
the only thing i could think of was, well, see, it is a house, the brief was to fit this building with 4 households in it, into an area of 4X11 meter square ( a very small space).. so the only concept/idea i have is trying to FIT THE BUILDING into that miserable tiny space!! what concept am i supposed to think of?? .. -_- .. i'm still trying to struggle with that..

hope i do better with this upcoming project..

oh yeah, finished this project and went home and finally get to do my chores!! now the kitchen is sparkling clean!! XD and my clothes are folded and placed in the closet! so happY!! :)

The Lake House

2006-08-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

The Lake House

just watched the lake house today.. starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves..
oh don't read the bottom if u had not watched the movie.. dead giveaways of a lot of things..

this movie talks about two person from different times getting to communicate with each other through a simple mailbox. well, a "magical mailbox".. i loved this movie. so different from the real world that i am lead to believe in recently. i am talking in the "i love her and is willing to wait for her" sort of perspective. like, she's the one.. hehe.. i do believe there are guys like that but only like one in many.. or is it the other way round where the unloyal unfaithful guys are less..? (not u melvin..)

there are so many issues in this movie that i liked. for one, the guy Keanu played was so sweet to her! planted trees, took her around the streets.. (sigh) it's a good thing sandra dumped her current boyfriend. couldnt even remember Valentines day. he deserves it!! haha.. and the reservatioN! he booked it two years in advance! wow..

secondly, there was that fact that they both love their work. one's a doctor, and the other's an architect. one thing though, i wonder, when they're togheter, will they have time for one another? both jobs consume a lot LOT LOT of time..

last but not least, it feels really a little like a long distance kind of thing.. communicating through letters.. hehe..

anyways, how i wish this movie was based on a true story! hehe.. however i heard that it was based on a korean book and in the korean version, it wasn't a happy ending. he died..

yeah just wanted to share what i think.. even if it doesn't make sense. :)

Does Love People Grow Weaker?

2006-08-14T14:05:00.000+08:00

does love make people grow weaker?

my answer is yes. YES. Love makes people weaker. It made me weaker. i don't know how people could control themselves from obsessing with their loved ones. i realised that i do get obsessed. i can't sleep. i can't work. i can't have fun with a full heart. but hehe, i can eat. i eat a lot. i eat a LOT.

but a part of me thinks that maybe i'm just lazy and is taking this whole love thing as an excuse. i would always go, maybe i'll talk to him first, then i'll have mood to do work later. then seconds pass followed by minutes followed by hours.. the next thing u know, it's 3 am and u still have work due the next day. but i still was not panicking about the deadline.. instead, i'm still taking my own sweet time writing my diary about him.. reading his blog.. looking at his photos.. or just go to sleep.. why can't i be disciplined and control myselF? i'm planning to skip class today.. he knows about it and he doesn't want to talk to me tonigh so that i can concentrate on doing my work. can i?

sometimes when i think about what i do, i really hate myself. i look down on myself. i would cry. i would get depressed. i would just sit somewhere and do nothing. YEELYN, u have to change!! how??? ...

i had a big cry yesterday.. i freaked out when i suddenly thought of how i'd be if he should disappear from my life one day.. (touch wood) i know what we're having now isn't much physically at the moment, but in heart what we have is undescribable.. he is always ALWAYS there for me.. always. i never want to part with him. i don't want anyone else.. just him..

this is depressing.. :'( i'm so clingy.

Moulin Rouge Fan

2006-08-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

If I should die this very moment

I wouldn't fear

For I've never known completeness

Like being here

Wrapped in the warmth of you

Loving every breath of you

Why live life from dream to dream

And dread the day when dreaming ends...

moulin rouge, i'm ur diehard fan.. ur words bring so much meaning to me..

The Ms Incredi-Hulk XD

2006-08-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

just had chocolate shoved into my mouth and my pants pulled down exposing my undies..
that's my crazy roommate, me-shel ( u might think this name sound familiar.. wonder if "Dodgeball" ring any bells?? XD yes, they're both strong.).. i wanna be strong!!!!!!!! ..

i wanna be stronger!!!!! then this stupid auntieeee won't outbeat me all the time!!!! seriously,

all the time!!!! ... i wanna go to the gym. u watch out auntiEEEEE!! can't wait to wrestle u and have ur body falling to the ground and i, the mighty eelin, stepping on ur body shouting victory !!!!! i've gone nutss..

... neways, had my first autoCad lesson today.. wow, complicated. but should be fine i guess. learnt to draw walls and windows and stuff. wanna explore it more but takde softwareeeee!!
i think busy life means positive life. my work is starting to pile up for each subject and i'm kinda happy bout it. though i have one presentation due tomorrow and i am still here blogging. i mean otherwise, i'd just be hanging around in the house, thinking bout the most ridiculous and depressing things.. hehe. or worse, spending all my time chatting with melvin!! ohhh noOO!! hehe.. (kidding bie, i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE talking with you..)

just read that auntie (meshel)'s blog and she was writing bout the seven of us. hmmm. nice.. hehe, she seem to be missing one more person. lemme fill in that gap. meshel, besides being the superstrong auntie she is, that girl, she has the balls man. she is crazy and outgoing and wild and does anything in the world she thinks is right. she's strong-headed and sticks with what she plans which is really wat i admire bout her most. though she is a very unique girl. complicated. it's hard to read her at times. a lot of things' going on in there.. oh my, but i remember going to her house every friday and have delicious food there!! the food is fantastic! spaghetti, and lasagne and mihun goreng and sweet fried rice!! miss ur dad's cooking, mich. :) and then we'd just hang around in her house. talking and all. can't remmener what we talk bout though. horrible memory. oh her house.. haha, lotsa memories in there too, with choonfei, with melvin.. hahaha.. with winson.. man.. yikes. pls don't move! hehe.. but she is around when i need a shoulder and advice. she's there...

i will blog more bout the rest of the seven girls, no worries. ;)

love u all, and of course, my precious melviN!! haha.. oh and family too!

Sweeeeet Conversation.

2006-07-26T13:17:00.000+08:00

conversation between a sweet, loving couple..

my life change when i met u really took a sharp turn for a happy life..

i really love u and everything u do, everyting u are and everything u will be..

sometimes i really hate the ocean seperating us like this

sorry for not able to be in australia

u are the one who bring me up when i was down, when i was feeling so low, u were the one who told me it's alright, i'd be fine.. just try to be more this and that.. i can do it.. and all that.. YOU..

when i cried, u comfort me and told me not to cry.. especially that night in the car..

it's hard to go through life knowing that no one got ur back even when u're so far away..

for me, u are that person who is my everything.. i promise u..

i promise u, i don't ever want to leave you or want u to ever

leave me, ever..

boy :i die oso (touch wood) i will still come find u
hehehehe kidding
girl :don't haunt me la huh.. just watch my back la huh..
hehe..
boy :pls dont leave me k
ehehhe yeah i will always watch ur back
even in the after life
girl :yea i won't..

boy :i will always be ur guardian angel

girl :u're the sweetest.. i'm crying! tears tears.. tears.. tears..
boy :i gotta stop (anxious)
ok pls laugh

oink oink hehehehe..

girl :its ok
boy :pls laugh
girl :i just felt ur sincerity when u said those words..and i believe u.. fully.. so don't go and cheat behind my back u idioT
boy :hhahhaha mood spoiler..

**********************************************************

boy : lets sing the ewan mcgregor wan
hehehe
i learnt the lyrics

and now i really feel the song..

**********************************************************

come what may..

boy :never knew i could feel like this

like i've never seen the sky before

want to vanish inside your kiss

everyday i love u more and more

listen to my heart

can you hear it sing

telling me to give you everything

seasons may change

winter to spring

i will love you

until the end of time..

come what may

i will love you until my dying day..

girl :suddenly the world seem such a perfect place

suddenly the moon moves with such a perfect grace

suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

it all revolves around you..

together :and there's no mountain too high

no rivers too wide

sing out this song and i'll be there by your side

storm clouds may gather

stars may collide

but i love you until the end of time..

suddenly the world seem such a perfect place..

i love you..

*****************************************

boy :see so nice to see u smile
million dollar smile
girl :aww, u made me smile..
.... suddenly the world seem such a perfect place, suddenly the moon moves with such a perfect pace, suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste.. it all revolves around u..
and our studies too. hehe..
boy laughs.. :thanks mood spoiler

"i need my daily dose of smile from yee lyn and knowing how is she

its easier for me to study knowing u are sleeping"

girl.. dunno why feel so stress bout it.. read bout the project yesterday and this morning.. have an idea what we're gonna do but dunno why so stress.. that tutor told us he wants somehting special cause he's kinda sick of normal ideas..
boy :i am sure if u have enough time u will come out with something special, no doubt.
my babe is the best. won award summore hehehe
girl :yeah.. i wanna be ur best all the time bie..

"yes anything for my babie gurl.."

still high on love i guess.. :) he is my motivator, my advisor, my encourager, my joker, my supporter, my strength, my comfort-zone, my other half.. really.. and most of all, MY SLAVE!!HUAHAHAHA!! kidding bie..

he's my everything..

Things I Just Love About Him

2006-07-24T14:11:00.000+08:00

things i just love bout him..

warning : contents might make ur hair stand on edge..

he talked to me till late at night (his eyes were closed, halfasleep) when he found out i was chatting with other guys the nights before when he was out with his friends.. [i was just talking, NOT FLIRTING, PPL! :) haha that's so sweet.. he's jealous. ]

he kisses my head everytime my head rests on his shoulders or chest..

he pulls me back behind him when some potential harmful guy walks anywhere near us..

he says i love u and i miss u when i least expect it.. (tat's wat normal ppl do.. but i hope he doesn't grow out of it like ppl usually do though.. hehe)

he calls me every night when i'm back in malaysia, and when i'm not, at least a message.. hehe.

i just love the way he imitates me when i talk or say anything that's cute to him.. :)

love his sexy sexy voice! hehe..

love it when he never wants to let go of my hand when i'm angry at him (playfully)..

love his ring, his body (tanned from redang!), his hair, his smell, his everything..

he's been wanting to slowdance with me for a long time and never had the chance.. it was really sweet, i didn't expect it but we were in his room, he played the song "stickwithyou" (our song) and took my hand.. and we danced.. just like that in his room.. the sweetest thing.. our bodies so close to each other.. him holding me close and tight.. never want that to end.. aaaaaawwww, i MISS HIM SO MUCH!! SOSOSOSOSOOOOOOMUCH..

the way we snuggle with each other in the cinema ( twin seats )

the way we make up to each other after we argued (kiss on one cheek).. ;)

i love the effort he puts when he prepares presents for special events like anniversaries, birthdays, valentines.. thank god that's iT! i'm always stressing when these times arrive. hehe. he baked me cookies and cakes ( it was ok), didn't get to try the cake though.. cause someone was shY!.. he made a card, a reallly nicely decorated cup with rings in side, omg with words on the cup like can't live without u.. .. owh and the flowers~ faint..

HE REALLY IS THE SWEEETEST!
*************************************
now, it's been a week since i've left malaysia. whenever i see some couples walking past infront of me.. or whenever i have friends who are couples acting all sweet in front of me.. whenever on tv some stars are kissing each other.. it's moments like these when i think back of our time together when we were able to walk hands in hands, hug each other whenever we want to, just lie down next to each other and talk just bout anything.. cuddle in bed covered with blankets.. just made me appreciate the times we had and will have even more! i miss u!!!

he's my everything.. love him.. LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!

love my family and friends too. ;)
sorry guys, i'm just a little high with love right now.. XD

back... again..

2006-07-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

hey i'm back in australia once again. i have around 5 days before my classes start.. have loads to do.. pack room, buy household stuff i need.. get bankdraft.. yikes..

anyways, i'm missing someone. he's forever in my heart and knowing he feels the same, i think i've got the motivation and strength to really focus on my studies. i really really wanna give my all this semester and all the remaining semesters i have to take before receiving my degree cert in those graduation robes.. hehe..

back to australia, back to eating large meals and facing the tv screen and computer screen and doing own housechores and everything else we have to do ourselves... yikes. ++

Attention, Acne-Prone People Like Myself

2006-07-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

attention acne-prone people like myself!!

i came across this article and i think for people who have acne problems, this would be useful..it helped me realise a few things.. i mean i have a roommate who applies toothpaste on her face everynight, and i was wondering, does that really woRK? never heard of that. and when i came across this site, i felt kinda stupid and then it all starts to make sense. so, er, sorry roomiE for thinking that! (u know who u are) besides, most of the ingredients u need are stuff u can find at home, so it's convenient and cheap. =) so check it out.

........................... ........................... ............................

ergjust found out i can't copy and paste the information here.. so, here u go.
http://www.ayurvediccure.com/homeremedies_acne.htm

BBQ Get-Together

2006-07-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

beeli's beebeeQ get-together..

ok, it all started with me and wengkin eating, squatting like pakciks and makciks minding their own business talking as there weren't ENOUGH chairs for everyone.. haha, we were talking " food's nice.. uh-uh.. uh-uh.. then, beeli saw how CUTE i was right *blush* teehee.. and went to grab the camera..

... and everyone started rushing in to take more photos, adding into the pictures.. it's quite cute. just that beeli's cam's all blurred out.. too much movement it seems.. but i like this picture, so much excitement, so random.. hehe..

then beeli didn't like that she didn't get to be inthe picture, and asked kakak to come out and take for us.. great pics.. i love it.. just didn't like the blurness..

yeah anyways, it was a potluck bbq. for to celebrate beeli's quest for helping orang aslis in sarawak, helping them build suspension bridges and houses. that's really great. she lives in hammocks and stuff. admire her for volunteering to help those people, then there was me coming back to m'sia from aus and just a reunion with some former bestarians.. maria and aaina. aaina really reminds us all of rachel mcadams. seriously! in the notebook. she talks, acts, smiles and laughs like her! wow.. her voice, her hair, her face.. wow, i sound like i have an obsession with her huh.. hehe.. neways, potluck. i bought stuffed roasted chicken. i didn't prepare it. the miracle of maids in the house!! huaahaha.. then tam brought her pasta fruit salad, suyen her lamb and most importantly, laurence's caramel desert!!! yummm...! look at that.. beeli's heartbroken to even cut that thing and wengkeong, rushing to get it.. YUM! it was really really good. i had 2 helpings to that!

yeah, i brought my new dvdcam ( heehee) and recorded everyone in it. u know, for people who are interested or studying human psycology or behaviour, they'd be interested to see how funny one can get when a camera is directed at them. haha, too bad can't post the video here. i'll try to look for ways. maria for one, was really really funny. jian wen too. wengkin, trying to be, but..

-_- haha.. oh yeah, wengkeong made me touch jian wen's ass.. ( i'm supposed to act like i don't like it right..?) hahaha.. now, i've covered two base.. *evil laugh*

yeah the barbecue, at least maria's camera works!! properly! hehe.. loved this! miss u guys! and seriously, maria's still the same, crazy as ever and EXCITED bout her new bf! hehe.. just like me! cept mine is not that new.. ;) but loving him more and more and more than ever!!

ps i wanna have kids.

regret regret REGRETSSSSS

2006-07-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

worse day of my life..
..regrets regrets regrets...
...regrets.. regrets... regrets..

we could have sat the bus together and just talked bout anything..
we could have walked the white sandy beach hands in hands just talking bout how our future would be..
we could have just lie down on the beach and sun tan or build sand sculptures on each other..
we could have bought those disposable cameras and took pictures of the fish when snorkeling..
we could have got drunk together and took care of each other..
here i am regr3tting not trying harder to go to redang with melvin..
wuwuwuwuwuwu!!! :***( why eelin why!?!??
and this is just the second night he's gone.. he won't be back till tuesday NIGHT.. wuwu..

"i want to go to redang!!!!"

if only u just say those words aloud again and again in front of ur dad!! maybe he would just let u go.. but noooooo.. u coward-y girl!! now melvin's with his friends.. tipsy and drunk.. errrr!!

yeah, guess i'll be fine.. just feel like knocking my head on the wall and floor or i don't know!! something that hurts more than this!!!!! michelle!!!! y?!!??!

i'm the stupidest girl i know. stupid!!!!!!

i am gonna take every chance of going anywhere starting from now!!!!! :P

selasa & rabuuuuu.. 27th&28th JUNE.

2006-07-01T17:14:00.000+08:00

selasa & rabuuuuu.. 27th&28th JUNE.

i am sooooooo PISSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!! .. wuwu..

i spent like an hour writing a stupid blog and it got erased!!!!!!!!! ...

<<<<

aih, should i rewrite everythiNG?? so URRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways, here's wat i wrote.. ( more or less)

played badminton.. was fun. there was weng keong, weng kin, and melvin ( he's "bie" in my tagboard by the way..) and of course, wengkeong's a level friends.. melvin could really play.. hee, and i suck. after just 2 rounds of doubles, melvin and i were already tired and lazy and out of breath.. haha, we do have some things in common huh.. can't wait to play more badmintON! hehe.. MESHELLL!!! XD

neways, this pic was taken after the game in melvin's house and we were about to go out on a date in the curve..

the day after that,

tammy, laurence, melvin and i went to midvalley for a movie and to catch up. beeli and suyen and evonne put airplane. ....!@#$ but all's good.

tammy and i took the train there and we would meet laurence and melvin there. haha, on the way, tammy and i were just talking bout stuff and how CUTE(XD) i looked and how she is and everything.. then we were talking bout rich people right, and tammy made me laugh so hard. she said, " ... they just spend water like drinking money.." ???? hahaha..

yeah bought a skirt and a bag!! MNG.. 50%!! wuhhoooO! yeah, then we walked around watched "stay alive".. they made me kay!!!!?! yeah and plus no other movies to watch.. melvin watched everything else i haven't watch and vice versa..the movie was alright. not as scary as i thought. and the couple seats, love them! just love them.. ;)

yeah here're some photos.. i really like them. :)
laurence and tammy, i had fun! melvin too. thanks for the day out! friends forever!!

back back back!!! XD

2006-06-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

back back back!!! XD

hey, people, i'm back in malaysia now. lemme tell u bout the trip back. i was travelling back alone. and u would hope to get to sit beside some cute guy. but no.. i sat beside a very friendly australian middle-aged auntie. we talked bout her children and my studies.. the same o talk.. hmm then there's the awkward feeling people get when you have nothing to say and we went back to the sleeping with discomfort and the watching of movies.. oooh, FAILURE to LAUNCH and FIREWALL is something i would recommend anyone to watch. hehe.. cause there's sarah jessica parker and matthew mcconaughey in the first and HARRISON FORD in the second movie. all my favourites!! hehe.. well, i like a lot of actors, really.. hmmm.. well, got back and met my mom at the airport! then bought milk in seveneleven.. to try the new "sipah" i bought for chensern(younger bro).. its a flavoured straw that allows u to add flavour to milk. there's strawberry, bananas, caramel and chocolate. it's something special really.

hmmm, oh then there was the urgency of trying to keep melvin from finding out i flew back to malaysia, u see, i wanted to surprise him. so i pakat with mich to lie bout lotsa stuff with him. but man, did it go well? hmm, i'll tell u all bout it in a minute. so me and mich planned that the day i'm flying, we are "supposed" to be shopping, walking round, bringing loris's mom around and go to the aquarium right.. man , it's a long story. there's this bull and that bull .. lotsa bull and ..big fishes.. so blue.. and big.. and beach ... not clean.. ok ler.. cold and windy.. .. loris no supposed to be at home.. he called.. loris answered.. lotsa giveaways.. and i was bullshitting .. like , she came back with her mom.. there's movies.. webcams.. man.. later ....

hehe, then well, slept quite late around 5am and guess what!?!su yen and mei wen came to my room at 9am to surprise me!! man.. so early.. and me so tired.. went to mamak.. dosai! yummmm.. (saliva-ing) hmm, then went to school awhile with suyen. got our spm certificates talked with some teachers. well, suyen did most of the talking. hehe, saw en HARRI!! hehe.. hmm, yeah that's bout it.. then watched Xmen3. AGAIN! hehe.. loved it. oh man, loved the cast.. the phoenix. damn! wah.. hehe.. but the story.. why did so many people had to die! aih. at least charles isn't. XD

hmm, that's bout it for that. then the next day, FRIDAY> hee.. woke up early to surprise my bie in Monash UNI. his last exam of the semester and all. so jon helped out right.. i was waiting at the foyer.. and he came and brought me to the place they were at right.. and melvin knew somehting was going on right.. he went to the gate right, and he saw me right, .. and man.. he went, " i knew it! i knew it!" he didn't seem surprised. i was soooo pissed! man.. we hugged and stuff.. and i was pissed! man.. i feel like a drunk person is writing this blog.. MESHELL!!! haha..

then went foos where i SUCKED BIG TIME!!! wuwu.. but melvin was great. JUNE was GREAT. GREATER than her BF. XD jon jon.. tsk tsk.. hmm, then hanged round.. hmmm... yeah..

well, after that, went to buy a DVDCAMCORDER!! cool huh.. hehe..

at the moment, taht's it. will key in more. CIAO!

since my birthday.

2006-06-17T21:41:00.000+08:00

the makers of the cake, loris basically most baking, mich decorating and helping out, er ge, helping out and complaining, goh, cracked an egg, and myself, birthday cake-eater! hehe..

hey i need to talk.. what happened to my satiNE!!! :( neways, birthday was great. wish all my other friends and family were here though. loris baked me so many cakes with the help of michelle and my brother. well, under my request.. hehe.. here are some of them. they look great don't they.

so i watched X MEN III, FINALLY!!!! loved it loved it loved IT! then cameback watch underworld, bit of football and went to sleep. woke up next AFTERNOON, dressed up and went to do some busines then went shopping with loris. goh and erge still snoring away. bought stuff! i feel guilty at times! ehe.. but nice le.. but after a while i feel like, u feel very happy buying new clothes with the intention of making urself look more beautiful, but when walking the streets, and other girls look even more pretty even when they just dress oh-so-normally. it's so depressing!! i have insecurities. why eelin, whY!?!? u are so beautifUL! u are attractive in ur own way! why are u feeling such feelings!?! how to block tath away?? i mean u hear news of a certain someone like another certain someone and u wonder why can't it be yoU? wat does the certain someone have that i don't? i dun want to hog attention from others or watever, but it's nice to know that u can attract a certain someone once in a while.. u know?? but, melvin, if u're reading, you 're always on my mind! hehe.. LOVE YOU!

neways, got a tshirt and earings from mich, cakes from loris, another cake and candle from arlene and another pair of earrings from martha(love them!). (both of them threw me a surprise by appearing at my door with another handmade cake!!) hehe, i'm contented. wonder wat melvin's getting me. heheee.. could it be a 2 coupons for the world's greatest massage from melvin? hehe.. i'm flattering him. never actually got a massage from that guy. XD

neways my birthday started rough. lotta bad things been happening since. and equivalent amount of good things as well la.. just remember what yannee said, BE MATURED and FILTER THEM OUT!! ok will update next time! lotsa thoughts to say. but hard without bitching bout someone so i'd rather not. ;) byE!

Trust

2006-06-05T07:26:00.000+08:00

Trust. What is trust?
According to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, trust means a strong belief in the honesty, goodness etc of someone or something. According to the BBC English Dictionary, If you trust someone, you believe that they are honest to you and will not deliberately do anything to harm you. Yes. From reading this, you can obviously tell what the whole post is all about today. Trust.

believe, honesty, goodness of someone.

I've learnt the painful truth that no one can be trusted a hundred percent. The only person to trust fully is myself. I am sure that everyone of you people have experienced the feeling of doubt and an instinct that tells u when someone is lying to you. However, sometimes you are blinded so much by the trust and closeness between you and whoever that is that you couldn't see the real face that he or she really wears. You don't even realize that that same person could be lying to you. Because you TRUST him or her.[or i'm just blur] I am not writing this blog to talk bad about a particular person because i find that totally immature, [unless there is really no way the two of you could solve the problem, then it is quite therapeutic i think.] I just want to share my encounter with trust issues so that my readers could come to learn that my blog is NOT DEAD!!! and that they can learn something from it. [ i hope.. :) ]

it also really hurts when u learn that someone you're close to and trust does not necessarily trust you back, instead he or she hides things from you,(pain!!) and lie straight to your face. and what's worse, you don't realise it until the truth finds its way back to YOU! OUCH. to think that there is GOODNESS in that person for not trusting YOU! so what is it that we should do? never trust anyone ever again and suspects everyone whom u think is lying to you? isn't life about sharing stories, what u believe in and just say what u think is right? you don't have to go lying about YOU. you don't have to be ashamed of YOUrself. Just tell us the goddamn truth! or don't tell us anything at all. it's so simple.

i just read somewhere that a person who is not being trustworthy or trusting may have a very competitive behaviour with others. i start to think, hmm, tht is quite true, after thinking bout the people in my life who i don't really trust and considering what an older friend told me. they are always thinking, "if i tell her this, she would think that she's better than me. No, i can't show her i'm worse." well this is what i think. it's not necessarily based on someone. i guess there are reasons why people are not very trusting towards other people. it is for their own benefit. but hey, as long as i know i'm not doing anything wrong. Not to trust depresses me. i need to trust. i can't don't trust. It is too stressful for me. this line means something to me.. (well actually it makes me feel better maybe cause of my naiveness)

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to sometimes be cheated than not to trust.
-Apples of Gold

.. this world is hard.. :( but guess i have to give it a try. how to get people to trust u if u don't trust others first, ey? comments!

i can't be cute, can i?

2006-06-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

today i realized that people can't be wat they wanna be. i noticed i've been acting cute for the past few days or lemme just say my close dear friend claims that. i felt like i've been like this almost since the beginning of the year.. maybe because of the time i've spent with melvin. hehe.. hmm.. and this close friend told me that i'm just not cute material and stop trying to be cute. she thinks i'm more of a matured person than cute. wel, i kinda agree on that. but i don't believe that we can't be matured AND cute. can't we? hmm.. just kinda dissappointed. in a way i can't believe i've beccome those kind of girls when just a year ago would feel nauseous and irritated if i see a girl who's not cute at all trying to be cute. i'm turning into that. OH NO! hehe..

ps i might just change my mind a few days later so don't take this seriously. :)

attention tagboard participants!!

2006-05-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

pls read what's on the blog as well ok.. pls pls pls!! i beg YOU!!! hehe..

neways.. it's 5.27am and i have hw due at 9am today. friday, saturday and sunday (yesterday) i have so much time and i spent it in front of the tv, stoning somewhere in my room and risking high chance ofgetting eye cancer in front of my computer screen. and taking walks outside and not forgetting eating. Now, why do we humans let things like this get to them? now i'm filled with regret and hate thinking why didn't i do it earlier and is actually torturing myself to this stage. or should i say why do I?

i know i should do my work. I KNOW that if i finish my work earlier, i'd be really laidback and enjoy the time i have. i really have to tell myself, the sooner u finish this, the sooner u can enjoy and put it behind you. sometimes, i'd just think and think and think "i know i need to do this, but.. " frustrating.. really.. eelin, just do your goddamn work and end this blog up already!! bye.